Salome
by Pandapens
Summary: AU, Remus is a prostitute, a confused Sirius goes to his Brothel and gets attached. Posted on Livejournal in February. Recently voted NC-17 work of the year at Black lupin .org
1. Part One

A/N: For those of you who remember me :P I've not been around these parts in a while, and I've abandoned my old account. But anyway, enjoy my new stuff. It's porn heavy and I can work punctuation and paragraphs properly now.

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They liked him because he looked innocent. The neat hair, full lips and wide eyes, the gangling limbs, even glasses if the mood struck him. Usually smartly clad in a school uniform, trousers expertly tailored by the madam to be low and loose on his hips, but too tight on his arse and round his cock. He wore a skirt, if requested.

The work was humiliating at first. He fumbled around quietly on his knees, feeling embarrassed and sick with himself. He'd gag the moment a prick touched his lips and he'd usually end up dragging his teeth. His hand jobs were lack lustre, awkward and uncoordinated.

But they seemed to like that too. The first man that fucked him paid him a whole hundred galleons for the sex, then slipped him another twenty with a sly smirk when he'd cried.

He started to play that up, as he got less inhibited. As he got better.

_August, 1976_

The entrance was in some seedy little backstreet just off Diagon Alley. Big wooden doors with some rather _distasteful_ knockers.

The brothel was full of boys, as far as Sirius could see. He'd be willing to bet most of them were no older than twenty one. He wouldn't wager on how young the youngest were. He saw a boy at the entrance no older than twelve.

It was seedy, to say the least. The even the room he was in, like a reception and a waiting room, smelt like sex. The walls were red and adorned with paintings of young men - some artistic, some, plain pornographic – and the room full of squishy pink arm chairs with tassels, half of them filled by lascivious looking men.

There was a woman sitting behind a long wooden desk, covered in flowers, half fresh, half wilted and giving off a sickly sweet perfumed smell. The woman was middle aged and fairly plump, she was wearing too much, dark make up. Her skin slightly orange, with huge smudges of pink on her cheeks and a deep ruby red on her lips. She beckoned Sirius over and drummed her talon like nails on the desk. They were the same colour as the walls.

"What can I do you for love?" she said. Her voice was that of a woman who had gotten up that morning and gargled with nails.

"I um... I wanted to... I-"

"First time?" She said with a smirk. Cocking an eyebrow, she leaned toward Sirius. "Let me guess. You're not even sure if you like boys yet. You just want to try something out?" Sirius gulped and nodded. She laughed softly "It's alright love. I'll set you up with someone you'll like. Probably about your age. Not been here long, still a virgin. He's a bit skinny"

"I don't mind."

"A bit odd looking, but not ugly, if you see what I mean." Sirius shrugged. "You will see what I mean. Got a few scars as well."

"What kind of scars?"

"Cuts mostly. He was in a muggle car accident. Don't mention them, poor lamb's a bit self conscious."

"That's fine. I won't say anything." Sirius smiled shyly. "How much..."

"He'll work that out with you afterward. Generally it's around ten for a hand job, twenty for a blow job. For sex, it's twenty five if he fucks you, fifty if you fuck him." She said casually, she'd said it a thousand times before and would say it a thousand times again. "But if you don't know what you want, I think he does... fifty? By the hour. Something like a thousand for the whole day." she sighed. "I should really keep track of them... I don't care as long as I get enough to cover their cost of living here."

"Oh. Um. Cool."

"But you're not here chit-chat, are you love. Sorry." She stood and took Sirius by the wrist, leading him up a long staircase behind the wooden table.

"Um..."

"What is it love?"

"What's his name?"

"Remus."

"... that's nice."

Remus jerked awake at the knock on the door. Usually he only worked the night, but somehow he'd been roped into working evenings as well. Nights, he didn't get off till three and he'd had to be up for his day job at seven, so he usually slept in the evenings before he had to be working at nine. He hadn't had time to read, only time to shower, shave and change into his uniform.

At the knock, he leapt from the small double bed across to the desk in the corner of the room and pretended to be studying. Beginning the perfectly well rehearsed and performed innocent act with a soft, stuttering call of,

"C-come in." Madam May wandered in with a smile, she raised her eyebrows the way she did when she had someone nice for him and mouthed _Virgin, _Remus gave her a quick nod and an understanding half smile, before contorting his face into his best "Please be gentle" look. A tall, dark haired youth strode in behind her, his eyes on his shoes.

"Remus my love, this is... oh you never told me your name?"

"Sirius. I'm Sirius."

"Like the star." Remus said earnestly, with a put-on nervous smile.

"Yeah that's it." Sirius looked up at the sound of his voice. He had bright grey eyes. Classically handsome. Strong jaw, good bone structure, fantastic lips.

"Well Remus, you're new here aren't you darling?" she winked again. It had become a sort of in-joke for the both of them. It was like they'd brought a third party to see a film with a big twist.

"Um... yes. Yes. Only t-t-two weeks." he said shyly, making sure not to hold eye contact with either of them for too long.

"Alright then. I leave the two of you alone. Oh and no need to worry about protective charms, Remus has already had his cast today." she smiled in that inappropriately motherly fashion and trotted out of the door. Remus forced a blush, got up from his desk and sat on the edge of the bed, careful to keep his thighs as tightly together as possible and staring at his hands, clasped firmly together and rested on his lap. This would be the point that the client would usually join him on the bed, maybe probe him with a few questions before sticking their tongue down his throat. But Sirius just stood and looked around his small room. He pointed to the Gryffindor banners above the bed.

"You're at Hogwarts?"

"No. Not anymore."

"Why not? Did you finish?"

"Thrown out in my first year. And before you ask, I don't want to talk about it." he said quickly. With just enough hurt that Sirius wouldn't ask him. Remus often wondered why he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin.

"I'm in Gryffindor." he smiled and perched next to Remus on the bed. "So um... you've not done this much before?"

"I've done a bit... I know what I'm doing... I suppose." he forced a shiver and began to nibble carefully at his nails. "I've never... um... have you?"

"Have I what?"

"How um... how far have you g-g-gotten with a... with a boy." he was sure to make eye contact then.

"I've never done anything really. I've done pretty much everything with girls just... no. Nothing with a boy."

"Oh. Um... what do you want?"

"I don't know."

"Oh. Alright."

"You're better looking than I expected." Sirius smiled and leaned in closer to him.

"Thanks... you're a lot better looking than what I usually get." Remus leaned in closer as well and made sure to um and ah before planting a very chaste kiss on the other boy's lips. He pulled back and smiled shyly. Sirius smiled as well.

"That was nice." he said quietly. Remus kissed him again, a little deeper and slower and he pulled away again.

"Still nice?" Remus asked, with the tone of someone desperately seeking approval. Sirius nodded and pulled their mouths together. He led the kiss this time. He was sloppy. Remus felt like Sirius was trying to eat his face. When he started to use his tongue like some kind of a demented whisk, Remus disconnected, practically having to spit Sirius's tongue out.

"Sorry." he muttered while Remus grimaced and caught his breath "I'm a terrible kisser. I've been told."

"It's alright. Just let me lead." he said, too confidently. Sirius smirked. He remembered himself and brought back the virgin school boy he was supposed to be "If... if t-t-that's okay with you... I mean you were fine it's j-just-" he stammered. Sirius's face dropped the moment the stammer came back.

"That's fine with me. You're good."

"I am?" Remus already knew the answer to this question.

"Yeah... better than any girl I've kissed." He blushed quite deeply and Remus noticed the bulge in the boy's jeans. Remus allowed himself a quick, out-of-character eye roll, before continuing.

"Do you want to...?" he let himself tail off nervously. Sirius nodded and kicked off his shoes and Remus noted that they looked expensive. Very expensive. He sat cross legged, looking a little more relaxed now and pushing his hair out of his eyes. Remus sat on his knees and shuffled closer to Sirius, grabbing the boy's shirt, he pulled him into another deep kiss, making sure he led this time. Sirius was a fast learner and responded to the slow movement of Remus's lips, allowing Remus to gently push the other boy's lips apart with a quick sweep of his tongue. Sirius raised a pair of trembling arms and pressed his hands against Remus's shoulders, pushing him slowly, actually quite... tenderly, down on his back.

Sirius was all gentle fingers and touches, running his hands carefully up and down Remus's chest over his shirt, pulling his tie loose a little, before tossing it onto the floor. Sirius's hands were still shaking. Remus put his hands on Sirius's face and stroked his thumbs across his high cheek bones, brushing his eyelashes. Remus pulled Sirius down onto him properly and raised a thigh into the boy's crotch. He was ridiculously hard. He shuddered and shifted and rubbed against Remus, who lay, still kissing, and waited for Sirius to get off. Remus felt the boy's breathing quicken, he groaned, somehow without breaking the kiss, and moved faster against Remus, who wondered if Sirius would fall asleep after this, so he could quickly nip downstairs and make a sandwich.

Sirius broke the kiss and spluttered above him, moving fitfully, he groaned, teeth sinking into his lips. He cried out a few more times before jerking forward, resting his forehead on Remus's shoulder, still grinding his hips against Remus. Remus who was now wondering if it had stopped raining yet; he hadn't had time to check before Sirius came in. Sirius who was now tensing, arching up, groaning and collapsing onto him.

Sirius rolled off of Remus, who just looked bored.

"...m'sorry." Sirius mumbled.

"What for?" Remus asked, his voice far deeper and steadier than it had been before. Sirius couldn't help but notice a new impatience present.

"Um... for not... I didn't ah... get you off."

"Sirius." He sighed "I'm a whore. It doesn't really matter if I get off or not. Unless you get off on me getting off." He stood up from the bed and picked his tie up off the floor, hanging it up on the chair behind the small desk which was packed into the corner of the room.

"You seem... different."

"You didn't seem to be all that into the innocent thing. Responded more when I took the lead so," Remus shrugged "The act is dropped. You don't like this-"

"This being..."

"Me. This is me. I could go back to the innocent school boy, if you like; except, the illusion's rather shattered now, isn't it? I do and excellent _naughty_ school boy if you fancy giving that a go?" Sirius shook his head.

"You're fine like this."

"You don't have to be polite. You want something, I'll do it. As long as it doesn't involve knives or excrement."

"Wha?"

"So what do you want? I could be dominant," He hopped onto the bed and straddled Sirius, whose cock jumped. "I could be... s-submissive, sir. If that's what you want?"

"Dominant." Sirius blurted "I mean... not _too_ dominant. Like... can I still tell you what I want but it's kind of like... you're in control if you understand what I mean?" Remus shrugged.

"S'pose. So... What will you have me do?" Sirius shrugged this time "... right. I could... talk dirty to you till you get hard again?"

"Um... I don't know... can I um... can I get you off?"

"If you want to."

"Hand job. Can you teach me how to give a hand job. A really good hand job."

"Oh. Yes, okay."

"Take your clothes off." he said before adding "... um please." politely. Remus smirked and got off Sirius. He tugged off his trousers and stood unbuttoning his shirt in his underwear. He had long thin legs. Pale and sprinkled with dark hair. Rather like his own, Sirius thought. He could see the boy's lean muscles twitching underneath skin that was crisscrossed with a number of scars. Some thin, raised and white, others angry reddy, pinks that lay flat on his skin. Sirius noticed the boy was at least _half_ hard underneath his thin black boxers.

"Enjoying the view?" asked Remus flatly as his tugged off his shirt. His arms and chest were very much the same as his legs. Skinny, light muscles, a little hair, scars.

"Yeah... you've got... yeah." Sirius muttered. Remus chuckled and let his boxers fall to the floor and sat next to Sirius on the bed.

"First of all you need to... well just hold my prick like you'd hold your own." Sirius licked his palm, reached out tentatively and curled his hand around Remus's cock. Remus shuddered, growing a little in Sirius's hand.

"Right. Now move your hand up and down, obviously." Sirius obeyed and began to move his hand. Remus was completely hard now but continued speaking perfectly normally "When I react well to you doing something... do it again... It's not rocket science." He said casually, pleasure briefly flickering across his face. After a few minutes of Sirius stroking him, with the occasional soft _oh_ and a slight buck into Sirius' hands Sirius spoke.

"You know, I'd've come by now." He said impatiently.

"Sorry. One builds up quite a lot of stamina in this line of work."

"I could... could I?" Sirius asked, his hand slowing.

"Could you what?"

"Um... suck it?"

"I'm yours, do what you want to me." Remus shrugged "But remember, you do actually need to suck, don't just put it in your mouth and move your head up and down." Remus sighed, as if he spoke from experience. Sirius nodded and lowered his head, taking half of the other boy's considerable length into his mouth. Sirius was surprised by how heavy Remus felt on his tongue and that the boy didn't taste of much. He tasted of skin and musk and soap. Sirius moved his tongue experimentally, getting a small whine and then sucked hard, this gaining a far better reaction from Remus. He moved his head up and down and Remus hissed and bucked his hips. Sirius felt his own prick get very hard, very quickly.

"You're good at this." Remus said hoarsely. Sirius smiled around the boy's cock and sucked harder this time, gaining a whine from the boy beneath him. He gasped suddenly "OUCH! OUCH! TEETH! WATCH YOUR BLOODY TEETH!" Sirius detached himself with an obscene popping sound.

"Sorry." He said. Remus lifted Sirius' chin with a long pale finger, forcing Sirius to look at his face, and rolled his lips around his teeth.

"Like this." He said. Sirius blushed and nodded, and copied Remus. He licked his lips and moved back towards Remus' cock, taking more of Remus into his mouth this time. Remus bucked his hips again and Sirius gagged and ended up falling back on his arse, gagging and then choking. While Sirius convulsed and caught his breath on the floor Remus sniggered.

"Oi." Sirius said, wiping at his streaming eyes.

"Sorry." Remus said sincerely "Just... Sorry. You're hard again though, that's good." Remus smiled a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. Sirius coughed a little more and Remus suddenly said "Since this isn't working out so wonderfully, should we do something else?"

"Don't you want to... ur," Sirius swallowed, staring at the still hard cock poking up from between Remus' casually crossed legs, still glistening with his own saliva. "... um... Come?"

"Well yeah, and if you hurry up and suggest something, I can!" Remus said, a false, impatient grin stretching across his face.

"Alright." Sirius chewed his lip, his own hard-on agitating him just as much, he found himself rocking, slowly back and forth on the spot, giving him the tiniest bit of unsatisfying friction. Had the room been this unbearably hot a moment ago?

This was new to him, being unsure and indecisive. He was used to seeing what he wanted and taking it, or at least asking for it first. And he certainly wanted Remus.

And Remus was a rent boy, so no matter what Sirius asked for, Remus was hardly in a position to judge.

In short, there was absolutely no reason why Sirius shouldn't have just commanded Remus to suck him. Or fuck him. Or Bend over. Or _something._

"... I'm not very good at this, am I?"

"It's endearing." Remus laughed, perhaps with a hint of sarcasm. "Look. Just... let me," He sighed "Just follow my lead and stop me if I do something you aren't comfortable with. And I am, of course, always open to suggestion."

Sirius nodded and stood up. "Take your clothes off."

"Will you undress me?" Sirius asked. Remus gave his cock a little, impatient glance, before hopping off the bed and making a meal of taking off Sirius' t-shirt, running his hands up Sirius' sides and chest. Sirius shuddered when Remus' palms brushed over his nipples, and when Remus sighed, "Arms." He obediently raised them; suddenly thrown ten years back in time, to when his nanny would dress and undress him, always commanding "Arms." Or "Legs." Or "Feet."

Remus dropped to his knees, unbuttoned and unzipped Sirius' jeans. He worked his fingers into their waist band and ever so slowly dragged them down, down, down till the pooled at Sirius' ankles. Sirius thought he hadn't been so aware of his own skin in his entire life. The sensation of denim dragging down his legs had never been so torturous and the sight of Remus, leaning closer into him then, (Sirius bucked his hips and swore violently) nuzzling the bulge in his boxer shorts and playing his teeth very lightly (Sirius whines, the only thing stopping his coming is the thought of how embarrassing that would be. Coming in his pants like a twelve year old... Again.) across it. Remus hooks his fingers into his boxers, giving them a far sharper tug, watching Sirius' cock spring free. Remus grinned.

"Lovely." Sirius blushed and looked at everything accept the equally hard, nude boy on his knees, his pale brown eyes devouring Sirius' body hungrily. Remus ran his candy pink tongue obscenely over his pale, full lips, rolling them around his teeth. He flexed his hand, long white fingers, thin, bony, reminded Sirius of the branches on a dead, sun bleached tree. And the sight of these fingers, firmly gripping the base of his cock was driving Sirius slowly insane. He decided, instantly, his favourite sight in the world had become Remus, this rent boy, on his knees, drawing Sirius' cock between his lips. The sight was nothing compared to the feeling; the heat of Remus' mouth, the maddening massaging motion of his tongue, and when he sucked-

"Stop it!" squeaked Sirius. Remus frowned and pulled off Sirius' cock.

"What?"

"I'll come." Sirius panted.

"That's the point."

"I don't want to." Sirius swallowed. "I want to. Can I. Um, I want to..."

"Fuck me?" asked Remus. His mouth was reddened and a tiny bit swollen. Sirius nodded. Remus shrugged and said, "Go and lie down on the bed." Sirius walked awkwardly to the bed and lay on his back, propping his head up with a pillow. Remus fumbled in his desk drawer for a small tube before joining him, straddling Sirius' thighs. Remus raised himself up on his knees and screwed off the cap of the tube he'd taken from his desk drawer, he coated his fingers with a clear, gel-like substance and reached backward, his eyes fluttering suddenly.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked.

"Preparation. Won't take long." Remus said. "I'm pretty relaxed." After a moment or two his breath hitched and the fingers returned, reached forward and found the tube again. Pouring more of the gel-but-not stuff into his hands, Remus began to lightly fist Sirius' cock. Sirius' eye lids slammed shut and he moaned.

"You're alright with this position?" Asked Remus. Sirius could barely answer, too wrapped up in this slick hand stroking him. The hand was gone, all of a sudden and Sirius heard Remus shuffling forward on his knees.

He felt, suddenly, clenching around the head of his cock, heat and a tightness that was intense and so unlike being with a girl. So much hotter and tighter; even slicker from that gel stuff Remus had used on both of them. So focussed on the steadily descending warmth and pressure surrounding his cock, he hadn't even looked at Remus. Remus who was crouched and lowering himself downward, face pink and eyes screwed up with concentration, teeth dug into a bottom lip, which sprang free, red and sore looking, suddenly when Remus gasped. His chest glistened, a little drop of sweat ran down his side and his nipples were dark and hard. Almost fully settled on Sirius' cock, he groaned and wiped his forehead, sweaty as well, making his fringe a little damp. Scarred chest rose and fell and Remus ran his fingers through his hair, bathed in the amber light of the setting sun, throwing his neck back and exposing a long, pale throat. Sirius was over come with the urge to bite, to lick, to taste. When Remus started to move, he could have seen stars.

"Sirius?" said Remus, his head lying flat against Sirius' chest, Sirius' arms wrapped tightly around him.

"Mmm?" Sirius hummed lazily, his eye lids heavy, and threatening to close.

"You can't sleep here. I've got someone booked in at seven and it's half six now, and I have to shower and stuff."

"Oh. Sorry." Sirius murmured. He trailed his fingers down Remus' neck and settled them between his shoulder blades.

"And we need to talk about money." Remus said flatly, he lifted his head off Sirius' chest. Reality, in the way reality often does, came crashing down upon Sirius, bursting his lovely, little, post orgasmic bubble, in which only he and Remus resided, drenched in honey coloured light and soaked with sweat.

"Oh. Yeah, of course." Sirius huffed.

"Right... I'll just charge you for the actual penetrative sex," said Remus, Sirius flinched, he was suddenly so clinical, a professional deciding what his services were worth. "And Madam May will go mental if I don't charge you for taking up my time... We'll call it sixty galleons." He said, with a smile.

"You're expensive."

"I'm worth it, though." Remus says with a confident grin. "Not many like me on the market, Sirius. I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm young and I'm bloody good at my job."

"That's true." Said Sirius, feeling himself smile. Remus smiled back and kissed him softly.

"You'll come back, won't you?" he asked, brushing Sirius' hair from his eyes.

"Yeah, 'course."

"Have you got the money with you now?" asked Remus, drumming his fingers on Sirius' chest.

"Er, yeah I should have enough, my money bag's in my jeans." Remus looked at him expectantly. "I'll go and get it now, then?"

"Where've you been?" James asked, setting down _Quidditch Weekly_ and rubbing his eyes.

"Out." Sirius said. James rolled his eyes and straightened his glasses.

"When you were _out_ where did you go?"

"No where." Sirius sighed, plopping down on his bed, conjured hastily and pulled up at the foot of James'.

"So why wasn't I allowed to come?"

"Because." Sirius shrugged, scowled and lay back on his bed.

"You're fucking cheerful today, aren't you?" James spat. James had been patient with him, for the most part, he'd been very patient.

"I'm fine." Sirius shrugged again, let his eyes slide shut.

"You going to sleep already? It's only four o'clock."

"M'tired."

"Did you meet someone?" James asked. Sirius said nothing. "Was it... a bloke?" Sirius said nothing. "Fuck." James sighed. "What happened?"

"Do you really want to know?" asked Sirius, James shrugged. "Just. Stuff... Sex."

"Oh. So... you're definitely...?" James asked.

"Yeah." Sirius mumbled. "I think so."

"Fuck." James sighed. "Fuck me." He shook his head.

"Not right now dear, I've had a long day." Sirius smirked. James whacked him across the face with a pillow.


	2. Part Two

_A/N: Thanks for reading and subscribing to story and author alerts and the like, tis appreciated muchly. _

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"I'll see the both of you at Christmas." Said Mrs Potter, planting a wet kiss on each of their foreheads. Again.

"Thanks for putting me up Mrs. Potter." Said Sirius with a grateful smile. Mrs Potter clasped his hands between hers, looked earnestly into his eyes and said,

"Sirius. It was no trouble at all. You are a wonderful boy and I just can't stand the thought of you going back to those people." She kissed his hands.

"Thank you Mrs. Potter. I don't particularly want to go back to them either, Mrs Potter." Replied Sirius, nodding and looking at the smear of peach coloured lipstick on the back of his hands.

"Now don't get into too much trouble." Said Mrs Potter warmly. James shook his head.

"We won't Mum."

"And do try to stop harassing that poor Evans girl, her father was positively furious at parent's evening."

"I will Mum." James nodded and Sirius snorted.

"No he won't."

"Shut up Pads!" James hissed, whacking Sirius in the chest with the back of his hand, Mrs. Potter saw Sirius narrow his eyes, and before he could lunge at James she snapped,

"Boys! Behave!" though, it was a playful snap, followed by a very indulgent smile.

"We will." James grinned. "We promise."

"Scout's honour, Mrs Potter." Said Sirius with a thumbs up. With a final round of kisses, on hands and cheeks and foreheads, James and Sirius picked up their trunks and made their way to the train. They met Peter in all his ratty glory, curled up in the middle of their usual compartment. Peter had been the last to manage the animagus transformation out of the three of them.  
They'd been working on it since second year, when McGonagall explained how difficult the transformation was and how horribly, horribly wrong things could go. Both James and Sirius had taken that as a challenge rather than a warning.  
They took to it like ducks to water, Peter, like a duck to treacle. Managing only to transform into some hideous half man half rat creature, with a long tail and patches of hair and nasty pointy teeth. They'd received a letter from him in early July simply reading, "I've done it."

Peter transformed back and grinned.

"No one ever listens when you tell them the compartment's saved, but no one wants to share with a rat."

"Ooo, clever Wormtail." Said James appreciatively. "Finally gotten the hang of it, I see?" Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"It's brilliant, isn't it!" he squeaked.

"Yep. Well done." Said James, with the tone of an exasperated mother to her young, slightly stupid, child.

"Who's a clever Wormtail?" sung Sirius, mockingly. Peter's grin dropped a bit. More manically, Sirius repeated his sing song. "WHO'S A CLEVER WORMTAIL!" he pounced on Peter and scrubbed his hair until Peter squeaked,

"Stop it Sirius, you great berk!" and Sirius did stop. When he was bored with it, he stopped.

The trolley witch came by and, despite Peter's protests that they were "in sixth year now!" and they were "Far too old for sweets, that's so babyish!", they bought as many sweets as they could afford. Hyped up on sugar, they discussed what NEWTs they'd be taking, how much trouble they planned on causing and, when the subject of girls came up, James wittered on about Evans, and Peter about that blonde bint in Ravenclaw he was after. After spending ten minutes discussing the intrinsic value of large breasts Peter turned to Sirius and said,

"You've been awfully quiet, Sirius." Sirius shrugged and looked at his watch.

"A couple of pounds of fat with a nipple stuck on it, how exciting." He sighed. Peter's mouth dropped open in utter horror. "It's time for my meeting." Said Sirius, standing up and exiting the compartment, among the horrified squeaks of protest from Peter.

Sirius sighed and kicked at the compartment doors as he passed them, making the people within jump and squawk with fright. Why the hell he'd been made a prefect was still a mystery to him. He supposed Dumbledore had wanted someone who could reign in himself and James, but changed his mind when he realised there was no one (apart from Evans.) with enough of a spine to do it.

James had pissed himself laughing when the little red badge fell out of his Hogwarts letter. Peter had laughed as well. Snape actually had to have a little sit down when he saw Sirius with his badge, he found it so funny. Evans, upon seeing who she was about to do rounds with, told Sirius to fuck off and give the badge back to the real prefect. When Sirius told her, he was definitely the real prefect, she collapsed through laughing so hard.  
"Why does everyone keep doing that!" he'd moaned. Evans explained to him that it was because he was possibly "the worst choice for prefect ever, in all of Hogwarts' history."

And so, Sirius Black had strived to prove everyone (Especially Evans) wrong.  
All in all, he'd been pretty successful. He was fair with his detentions, he was nice to lost first years, he even managed to get James to leave Snape alone after what Sirius had decided was one de-pantsing too many. Even Evans had decided he "wasn't such a horrific person after all."

He trudged into the meeting in a rather foul mood, taking a place between Evans and Richard Bones, after realising that, at some point, he would have to explain to Peter that he'd much rather shag boys than girls. In fact, he'd have to explain that to a fair few people. Like every flipping girl that would try to chat him up. He thought that maybe they'd ease up in fifth year, nothing shatters your bad boy image like a nice shiny prefect badge, but no. They actually got worse. They started propositioning him while he was on rounds, or they found out which night he was serving detention duty and went out of their way to get in trouble.  
Evans would keep teasing him about it when he sulked. He would always say: "You wouldn't know this Evans, but it's not easy being beautiful." And then she would hit him.

He sulked his way through the meeting, too wrapped up in feeling sorry for himself to notice Evans glaring at him. He mouthed "What?" she rolled her eyes and leaned towards him, whispering,  
"Are you deaf now or something? I asked you how your summer was like ten minutes ago!"

"Sorry Evans. I didn't hear you. In fact, it's rather hard to hear you over Longbottom and What'sherface, wittering on over there." Sirius huffed. Evans frowned at him. "On top of that, there's Bones' mouth breathing for you to compete with." Bones promptly elbowed Sirius in the stomach.

"I have a cold." He hissed.

"You've had a cold for the last six years then!" Sirius snapped back. Longbottom turned at that moment and fiercely shushed them.

After the meeting, and after all the other prefects left, Evans cornered him.

"Why are you sulking?" She asked. "Something wrong?"

"Nah. Just in a bad mood." Sirius muttered. Lily pursed her lips and patted him on the arm before leaving. Sirius, left standing alone in the compartment, quickly found his thoughts drifting toward Remus.

They drifted toward Remus during the sorting and during the feast.  
Sirius wondered how he was, and what he was doing right now.

"You working round Christmas?" asked the man (Dan or Dave or something.). The kind Remus saw a lot. Middle aged and married, his kind slipped off after work, spent an hour with Remus then stumbled in late to their long suffering wives, reeking of sex and tasting of boy.  
Remus sat up on the bed and pulled the sheets up around himself, his room had the worst draft in the house, with it's large, old window. He watched the man buckle up his belt, then slip on his shirt.

"Probably. Don't generally plan that far in advance. Not on Christmas day, I don't think." Answered Remus, yawning. The man (... was it Don?) was doing up his tie now, a fine, dark blue, material.

"Obviously." Said the man. "Just found out we've got the mother-in-law coming over and the kids'll be back from Hogwarts. Could use the relaxation." The man grinned, he could have greatly benefitted from a set of braces as a boy.

"Honestly... I wasn't going to work much at all at Christmas..." Remus smiles coyly. "But. I suppose... for you, I'll make an exception." He let his eyes flick up toward the man (Who cares about his name.), who was now pulling a plain, dark blue, work robe over his head. He smiled, smugly.

"I like you, Remus." He said, walking back toward the bed. "I like you a lot." Remus swallowed, and desperately resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"You... You do?" he said quietly. The man nodded.

"I might just come and see you every week." Said the man, leaning in toward Remus. Remus hitched his breath and parted his lips.

"Alright." The man kissed him, roughly, too much tongue and spit. Remus thought vaguely of that kid he'd had in a couple of weeks ago, he preferred the ones that were eager to please to the ones like this. At least, Remus himself could have a decent time if they didn't mind being told what to do. Men like this one always had bloody control issues; Remus had a theory, you could tell what a man's home life was like, just from how they treat him during their little encounters. This one was rough, dominating, very: say my name, who's your daddy. He would have been quite meek at home, the wife would have been cold and frigid, and definitely wore the trousers.  
Remus felt a weight on his lap and heard the jangle of coins, the man pulled away, looking terribly pleased with himself and winked.

"Little something extra in their for you, darlin'" the man picked up his cloak and practically strutted out of the room.  
Remus rolled his eyes and mumbled "wanker" under his breath and tipped out the little bag of money on his lap. The fifty they'd agreed on, plus another ten. He scooped the money up and added it to this month's earnings. It was usually about a thousand for Madam May. Probably ten times enough to cover his cost of living in the brothel, but Remus supposed he didn't mind. He generally ended up with a decent two or three hundred galleons at the end of the month and he hardly knew what to do with that.

His foray into drugs had merely bored him and gambling wound him up as well. He thought he would at least lose some of his money, but he never did. He was so lucky with cards he was generally always accused of cheating. He tried wasting his money on good food in nice restaurants, but he preferred the food at the brothel anyway.  
He ended up becoming disappointingly frugal. His money piled up in his Gringott's account, Remus would sigh and comfort himself with the very dull thought that the money was there for a rainy day. He couldn't do this forever and he knew normal employment for an ex-prostitute werewolf, with not even a year of schooling and no qualifications would be hard to come by.  
He did have a decent day job waiting in the Hogs Head, but that was more for of keeping himself amused during the afternoons and early evenings, rather than through a need for money.

The Hog's Head was extremely rough, but frankly, he preferred it ten times over to the Three Broomsticks. Sure, the glasses were a tad dirty and the clientele was certainly of a questionable calibre, but no one glowered at him and asked why he wasn't in school, or asked about the scars, or cared if he snuck a drink or two. Then, there was always the opportunity to pick up a little extra business without Madam May knowing.

Remus sighed as he closed the small safe he kept his earnings in. He would shower and eat before the next man turned up. In the shower, he remembered today was the first day back at Hogwarts for most kids. Probably would have been about time for the sorting ceremony to begin.  
Remus remembered his own sorting ceremony. Shuffling up to that manky old hat and it searching around in his head. At first, it considered Ravenclaw, commenting there was "certainly intelligence there and a thirst for knowledge." Then it threw out Gryffindor mentioning "Bravery, certainly bravery. Loyalty too, but not enough for Hufflepuff." adding that Slytherin might be an idea "there's an edge here. A self awareness that makes you rather manipulative," but, the hat eventually decided on Gryffindor. And Remus was happy. "Manipulative" or not, a boy like him would have been eaten alive in Slytherin and he would have been bored off his arse in Ravenclaw.  
He didn't make any friends though. And no one seemed to notice when he was forced to leave.

Remus towelled off, threw on a t-shirt and jeans and ran down stairs, passing Madam May and a particularly grotty looking fellow on the way, and emerging behind the front desk. There were two men, sat waiting on the old sofa, awkwardly conversing about the weather. Remus snuck by them, and crawled through the magically concealed kitchen door.  
Mark was stood at the stove, hunched over a pan full of something and stirring.

"Y'alright?" he said, lifting the spoon from the pan, licking it and looking thoughtful.

"Not too bad. Where's everyone else?" Remus asked. Mark shrugged.

"Busy with some one." he sighed "Or out." He smacked his lips, opened the cupboard and pulled out a hand full of herbs. "I haven't been out in ages."

"Me neither." Remus sat down at the kitchen table.

"You have though. You get to go the Hog's Head everyday, nearly!" Said Mark petulantly. He stuck the spoon back in the pan and began stirring again.

"I work there." Remus laughed. Mark shrugged.

"Still somewhere other than here though, isn't it?" Remus bit back his kneejerk response, if you hate it so much, go and beg your parents for forgiveness, you daft sod!

"I suppose." Remus sighed. Mark dropped the spoon, moved to the right of the stove and leant against the bench, folding his arms.

"I wish I had a job." He sighed. Remus frowned then. "If I had some bloody money, I could move out."

"If you'd give in to your Auntie's whining you could have a job. And money." He said. And Mark curled his lip. Mark was generally a nice lad, good looking as well, Remus just wished he would keep his disgust to himself.

"I don't want a job like that." He huffed.

"Why not? The money's good." Remus narrowed his eyes and Mark shrank a little.

"She robs you blind though." He said softly. Remus shrugged.

"The money's still good, even after that."

"I don't want to be a whore."

"Be a chef."

"Can't. Squib." He stated, waving his spoon at Remus. "As if any one would hire a chef that couldn't do magic." He said sullenly, sucking on his spoon.

"A muggle would." Mark wrinkled his nose at the idea and went to stir again. "I swear to God if you stick that spoon back in the food, I'll be forced to damage you."

"If I wash it first?" Asked Mark.

"That's fine." He sighed. "It's called hygiene."

"I know!" he laughed. "I definitely bloody know after living with you, Mr. Five-showers-a-day."

"I don't like being sweaty." Said Remus. "People are always sweating all over me and-" He was interrupted, when Julian strolled into the room, in stupidly tight jeans and t-shirt, curly, blonde hair a tangled mess.

"What's for dinner." He asked, pushing a hand through his hair, in a futile effort to fix it. Mark chucked his spoon in the sink and pulled a new one from the drawer.

"Soup." He replied. "Tomato soup. New recipe."

"I hate tomatoes." Groaned Julian.

"And I'm sure the tomatoes hate you." Muttered Remus.

"They love me." He said. "It's unrequited." Throughout dinner Julian twitched and fidgeted and half way through, George stormed in, clothes in disarray, muttering angrily under his breath.

Most of the boys in the brothel were there through no fault of their own; most were just poorly educated victims of circumstance, that Madam may had spotted, dragged into the house and put to work. Mark's parents threw him out, so did George's, Julian was a junkie, Dean had always been homeless and, like Mark, Sam and Jove were squibs with no where else to go. Runaways and junkies drifted in and out, but Remus saw himself as the only permanent boy there entirely of his own accord.

The year dragged. Sirius had never felt time drag on and on so much before. September had to be pulled past, kicking and screaming and October simply refused to budge. Finally, when November rolled round, Sirius felt like he was going insane.  
All he could think about was Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus. He regretted not asking if he could owl him. He regretted not going back to him. He regretted not paying for a little more time.  
The image of Remus above him, sinking down onto his cock, biting his lip, head thrown back, chest glistening, was burnt into the back of his eyelids. Every time he closed them, even blinked, all he saw was Remus. He remembered the way it had felt, the sex, the kissing, the touching, everything; and, no matter who he was with or what he was doing, he would have given anything to be back in that grotty house, in Remus' room, on his bed, inside of him.

He composed several letters over the course of November. Long, drawn out, declarations of affection, followed by apologies and slights on his own mental health. None of which he sent.  
One night, James found a letter under his bed.

"You've not read that, have you?" asked Sirius. James grimaced and nodded. He glanced down at the letter.

"You're right when you say you're mental you know. 'Cause you are. You're off your rocker." Said James, disapprovingly. Sirius perched on the edge of his bed.

"I'm not." He huffed. "I just really like him."

"Oh." Said James. "So what's his name-"

"Remus."

"Yeah." James glanced around and frowned. "What's so good about him? You'd think the sun shines out of his arse from the letter."

"Dunno. He's just. He's just got something about him." Sirius mumbled.

"So he's like. Your... Boyfriend, or something?" James asked, quietly. Sirius shook his head.

"We don't really know each other that well. I just. Liked him a lot, I suppose." Sirius sighed. "We just. We just fucked, really." James' mouth formed an O, Sirius blushed. They didn't say anything for a while. James stood, shifting his weight from foot to foot, trying to work out exactly what it was he should say. Sirius cringed and checked his watch.  
"Oh time for rounds." He said, hurrying out the dorm.

"See you later!" called James.

He was with the Hufflepuff in the year below him again. Jennifer Plunkett was rather small and delicate looking. She actually flinched when Sirius spoke to he. And if they ever had rounds together, she spent them with her shoulders stiff and her fists balled up in her pockets. Sirius liked Jennifer, though. Her hair and her eyes were the same colour as Remus'. And their mouths, Sirius noticed, their mouths were similar as well.

He ended up thinking about Remus a lot that night. He ended up flushing whenever Jennifer looked him in the face. He ended up running straight to the shower after rounds. Tearing his clothes off, scrambling under the spray, resting his head against the tiles and stroking himself furiously. It could be summer again, he was in that room, with Remus. It was not his own hand on his cock, but Remus'. He slipped his finger around to arse, experimentally pushing it inside himself. Imaging this was Remus, he came, hard, spattering come over the tiles.

He made himself cringe when he caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. There were tile imprints on his forehead.

This became his routine. And he always used fingers now. He always imagined what it would be like to have Remus fucking him.

Christmas would be there soon. At Christmas he would see Remus again.

*  
December came and plodded along, dark and damp, as winter months did. Remus' room got cold enough some days that he could see his own breath. He left a glass of water on the windowsill one night, and found a thin layer of frost around it's sides in the morning.

The kind of people that needed his kind of people, always seemed to get lonely around Christmas. The brothel got busier and busier as the days went by, and even the Hog's Head always seemed to be packed.  
He managed to procure a few more regular customers, along with the others. Remus' list of regulars never seemed to stop growing, and he often toyed with putting his rates up a bit. But that would only lead to more disposable income, with nothing to dispose it on.

Mostly he read. He decided it was time he took his education into his own hands. He bought himself a stack of text books, but still lacked a wand. He was hesitant to replace his old wand, snapped by the Ministry, then burnt to make sure neither he nor his parents made off with pieces. They were, of course, prohibited by the all mighty Ministry from buying him a new one, but Remus imagined he'd been gone long enough to be considered long dead by the Ministry. By his parents, as well, perhaps.

He strolled into Ollivander's on a bright, particularly cold morning.

"Oh." Said Ollivander, raising his eyebrows. "Remus Lupin? Never thought I'd see you again." he said, pale eyes shining. "Ten inches. Willow, Unicorn hair core. A nice, swishy wand, if I remember correctly." Remus nodded. "A nice piece of work that was. A terrible shame about what happened. Dumbledore should have known a Werewolf wouldn't lasted long without being discovered, though." Ollivander sighed an shook his head. "Snapping your wand did seem a tad excessive though."

"I suppose. People like me aren't really supposed to have access to a wand though." Remus said. "I don't suppose you'll sell to me now, will you." Remus, began to turn on his heel, as Ollivander said,

"Wait just a minute there Mr. Lupin." He rested his hand thoughtfully upon his chin. "I've always thought the laws prohibiting your kind were... excessive. It does seem a shame to waste your potential, and believe me Mr. Lupin, I sense as great a potential now as I did when you were eleven." Remus felt himself turn pink. He remembered how frightened he'd been when he came to buy his first wand. His mother, utterly apprehensive about being caught, his father even worse and doing a terrible job of hiding it. His mother's long finger nails dug into his shoulders, and his father kept looking over his shoulder and chewing his lip.  
Ollivander had appeared, eyes eerie and pale, and recounted the tale of his parents buying their own wands. Remus remembered a fair few wands being thrust into his tiny, shaking hands. He remembered breaking things, and then, the incredible surge of feeling as the last wand, his wand was in his fist. He remembered it simply feeling right.

"You'll sell one to me then?" asked Remus.

"Yes. But if the ministry finds out, you didn't buy this from me." Replied Ollivander, already wandering further back into his shop. He returned a moment later, with an armful of long thin boxes. "Just a few here. Similar to your old wand, for the most part." He said, beckoning Remus toward him. Remus set down his paper bag full of text books and held out his hand.  
Ten minutes was all it took, and Remus had not expected to find a wand that felt like his old one and de certainly didn't expect to find one even better.  
Thirteen inches this time, the wood still willow, still swishy. But the core, this time, a Dragon Heartstring.  
He thanked Ollivander profusely, and prayed the ministry had him registered dead.

Studying magic was far less boring than the students he would speak to had made it out to be.

Remus was busy all the time now, working or studying. And Remus was his happiest when he was busy.  
Often, he found his thoughts catapulting straight back to magic when he was with a particularly dull or selfish client.

When Christmas really started to get close, Remus' studying had to take a back seat. The Hogshead was heaving most days and the brothel was even worse. He hardly had a spare moment, between customers and showers, eating and sleeping.  
They seemed to get more depressing as well, his customers. They would winge and whine about their families, almost like they thought Remus actually cared. They would huff about just wanting to get away, they asked if Remus wanted to come away with them. The answer was always a firm, unfaltering "no."

On the day before Christmas eve, Remus had a costumer who appeared to be younger than himself, which was a rare, rare sight. They boy was handsome, gorgeous, with a main of almost-curly dark hair. The boy grinned.

"Remus." He said. Remus flinched. He'd seen this boy before somewhere. "This is going to sound so strange, but I really missed you."

Missed me? Remus thought, Oh bloody hell. His face rings a bell. Who the fuck is he?

"Missed me?" Remus said shyly. "Really?"

"Yeah. I dunno. Sorry, I just. I suppose I liked you, when we... you were the. I really liked you." He said. Remus fluttered his eye lashes, must have gone full on Virgin for this one, he thought.

"That's..." he avoided eye contact and made himself tremble. "I liked you as well." he whispered. The boy's grin dropped.

"You can... You can just be yourself you know, last time. Last time I was here I said I preferred you being yourself."

"Did you?" Everything (sort of) came flooding back to Remus. "Oh yeah!" Everything except the boy's name! Said boy, flushed and his smile faded completely.

"You forgot me, didn't you."

"Of course not-" Sydney... Cyril.... Simon... Simon? No... not Simon. Bollocks. "Cyril."

"Sirius." The boy mumbled. Remus cursed his brain and it's sheer lack of capacity for names.

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" Remus laughed. The boy, Sirius, smiled again.

"Oh. Misheard you. So you... you do remember? You really do?" he asked eagerly. Remus nodded and stepped toward him, curled his arm's around Sirius' neck.

"How could I forget you?" He kissed Sirius' jaw and worked around to his lips. He was hard already, Remus smirked to himself and pulled away. "So how do you want to do this?" he asked. Sirius, bright red and already sweating, shrugged.

"I... I don't know. I'm just happy to see you." He said. Remus smiled, a little nervously, the soft-hearted ones were, quite frankly, depressing after a while. "Do what's easiest for you." Said Sirius. Remus nodded and, reflexively, fell to his knees and undid the flies of Sirius' jeans, tugging them down, then doing the same with his boxer shorts. Remus wet his lips and looked up at Sirius, who was looking down at him, his eyes were light and wide with a kind of fascination. As soon as they made eye contact though, Sirius looked away, embarrassed and cleared his throat. Remus took that as a signal to begin. He started at the base of Sirius' cock and began to kiss it, wetly, sucking slightly. Sirius inhaled sharply each time, his cock quickly beginning to leak he barked,  
"Stoppit!" just as Remus opened his mouth wide and rolled his lips around his teeth.

"Excuse me?" Remus asked, half laughing. Sirius winced and awkwardly shifted his legs.

"I. I... I would have come." He said.

"Well... yes, that's the point?" Remus said, still half laughing at him. Sirius' blush spread down to his neck.

"I. Oh Merlin." He spluttered. "Fuck me. Please. I want you to fuck me."

"Oh." Said Remus, surprised. "Alright then." He smiled and stood up, grabbing Sirius' t-shirt and pulling it over his head. "Kick those off, and go over to the bed." Sirius nodded and did as he was told.  
"Alright." Said Remus, unable to suppress a grin at the sight of the boy's arse, his cock jumping more enthusiastically than it had in a while. "Now bend over."

*  
Sirius was nervous. He wanted this so much, it frightened him. It frightened him that one person, one person he hardly knew, could do this to him. Reduce him to this. He could feel his breath become unsteady, threatening to halt completely. He bent over, resting his weight on his elbows and heard Remus' shirt flutter to the floor, and the sound of the zip being pulled on his trousers. He heard the floor creak as Remus moved toward him.

A hand was on his back, it rubbed gentle circles on Sirius' steadily tensing shoulders. Remus' body weight and heat soon joined the hand.  
"This might hurt a bit." Remus whispered, his hot breath tickling Sirius' ear. "I'm going to fuck you with my fingers, then fuck you."  
Sirius shuddered. He felt something very hot and hard rub against his arse.  
"Any objections?" Remus asked, Sirius shook his head and clutched the bed sheets. "Positive you wouldn't rather do this the other way around?" Sirius shook his head again, he was nervous, but he'd been fantasising about this for months now. "Good" Remus purred, something cool and slick circled his hole. Shocked, he sucked in a sharp breath.  
"Shh." Remus soothed, working his finger around Sirius' entrance, the sensation teasing and unfamiliar. Remus, finally growing bored or losing patience, told Sirius to relax, as he slid a finger inside him. Sirius clutched tighter at the sheets, his cock rubbing on the soft fabric sending a jolt through him. Remus began to move the slick finger back and forth.  
"Don't tense." he said calmly, moving the finger back and forth. In and out. There was a little pain, that subsided quickly. Sirius shivered. It was strange, he decided, but not a bad strange at all.  
A second finger was added, then a third and Sirius found himself enjoying the feeling more and more, even finding himself unable to resist pushing back on Remus' hand as he moved his slick digits back and forth, moving in time with him, grinding his cock down on the soft quilt below him. He let a guttural whine escape his throat and Remus pulled his fingers out, Sirius moaning in protest.  
"You ready?" Remus whispered, Sirius hadn't realised how close he had been. To wrapped up in the fingers up his arse to notice the lips, the breath on his neck. Sirius nodded and Remus nudged his legs further apart.

"Wait." Sirius said, his voice was quiet and hoarse, barely above a whisper.

"Hmm?"

"Can we... could we do it face to face?" Remus' lips were trailing across his shoulders and around his neck, settling on his ear as he spoke.

"Ah... yeah." he sounded surprised. "If you want... why though?"

"I dunno just... wanna."

"Less comfortable face to face, you know, if you're bottoming."

"Doesn't matter..." Sirius swallowed, embarrassed but just too desperate to care now. "I want to see you."

"Kay." Remus laughed softly and moved away from him "Lie on your back." Sirius lifted himself up onto the bed, Remus following. He lent across Sirius and grabbed a small tube, which Sirius recognised from last time, and paused for a moment. He grabbed a couple of pillows and handed them to Sirius. "Put those near the bottom of your back." Remus rolled his eyes a little at Sirius' confused look. "Better angle." He replied flatly.  
Sirius obliged, then watched Remus kneel, squeezing the stuff in the tube into his hand, and begin lazily rubbing it around his cock. His eyes fluttering shut, his lips parting. Sirius, need momentarily over whelming him, began to fist his own cock. Remus' eyes fluttered open.  
"None of that." he said, spreading Sirius' legs. He licked Sirius' prick from base to tip, he moaned, when Remus grazed his teeth ever so lightly over the head and lapped up a drop of precome spilling from his slit.  
Remus licked his lips, and it took every ounce of self control Sirius could muster not to come right then and there. Remus gave the satisfied smirk of a person that was very aware of how good at their job they were.  
Remus placed himself between Sirius' thighs and pressed himself up against his hole. Sirius shuddered as he felt the other boy's cock begin to stretch him. Sirius sucked a sharp breath through his teeth and clawed at the sheets. Remus paused and allowed Sirius to adjust before pushing further, stretching him and filling him more with each little push. Remus' eyes were squeezed tight shut.  
"God." He breathed "Fuck... So tight..." Remus shuddered. "Can I move?" he choked "Please". Sirius nodded.

"Can you kiss me?" Sirius mumbled. Remus fell forward, shifting his weight from his knees onto his hands and kissed Sirius. Remus pulled out of him and thrust forward slowly, then again.

"Is that okay?" Remus asked, moving his hips back and forth again. Sirius gasped involuntarily and nodded.

"It's good." He said, barely more than a

"You like it?"

"Yessss." Sirius hissed. He felt his eyes slide shut as Remus fell into a slow, tantalising rhythm. "Harder?" Sirius said, the words slipping from his lips without him even realising. Remus grunted and began to move faster, pushing himself in and out more vigorously. Remus hit something, some spot inside him, something sending a sharp pulse of pleasure through him, that made him buck his hips and cry out,. He heard Remus half laugh half grunt above him.  
"Again." Sirius hissed. Remus made the same movement, his the same spot. He cried out again, and Remus began to move faster, the head of his cock pressing and digging That spot again and again. Remus sped up more, moving his hand between them to fist Sirius' prick.  
It didn't take more than a few, shaken, desperate squeezes to finish Sirius off. He came onto Remus' hand, and stomach, their skin becoming slick as Remus began to pound into him faster, suddenly collapsing onto Sirius with a loud moan.  
Remus cleared his throat, panting.

"I feel like I should give you a discount." Sirius felt his eyes begin to shut. "No sleeping, we're busy today." Remus said sharply, lazily.

"Can't we just stay like this?" he asked, almost whining. "Just stay like this, just for a minute." Remus sighed.

"Alright. Ten minutes. And if you fall asleep, I won't hesitate to... bloody... find an unpleasant way to wake you." He said, surprisingly drowsy despite his words. Sirius smiled and nodded, feeling Remus' breathing slow.

Exactly twenty six minutes later, Sirius awoke with a start, when he was hit with a face full of ice cold water. And a snarl of,

"That was for letting me fall asleep."

* * *

I don't like to beg for reviews but... C'mon... Any feedback is appreciated.


	3. Part Three

A/N: Sorry for taking ages with updates. The story's done, I just keep forgetting to stick the next part up. There was also an incident last week involving my mother, my laptop and a bottle of windowlene.

There was breakage. Circuits were shorted. Repairs were made.

And sorry for not replying to feedback, I has had teh busies, but it is greatly appreciated :).

"I hate this pub." Huffed Sirius, his chair creaked and the table was damaged and wobbly. James frowned at him.

"Well I'm skint, you're skint and Wormtail's skint." Snapped James. "We drink here, or we don't drink."

"Oh fine." Sirius sighed, and relaxed a bit, though the Hog's Head was so dark you'd think it was the middle of the night, the décor was positively foul and it was badly in need of a good once over with a few cleaning charms, the staff in here would be far more likely to serve them with Peter in tow.

"Now cheer up. You've been sulking since Christmas and I'm sick of it." Said James. "Wormtail, go and get us a few Firewhiskys. I'm off for a piss." Peter didn't have time to protest ("But you don't like Firewhisky!") before James had shoved him in the general direction of the bar.

Sirius looked around the pub. There was an oddly shaped lump under a cloak, conversing with a man with large patches of what appeared to be moss on his skin. There was a man, huge and tattooed, sat in a booth in the corner, muttering under his breath and growling when people came near him, and a young woman, flitting around the pub, collecting drinks and falling back onto the lap of a far older man, giggling.  
Where there was usually a large, grumbling gentleman at the bar, stood a much taller, skinnier figure. But the bar was too dark and too smoky for Sirius to get a decent look at him.

Peter came back a moment later, with the drinks clenched awkwardly in his hands. They split as he set them on the table. The measurements were huge for Firewhisky, and Peter shrugged as he sat down.

"Down the hatch." He said nervously, as he picked up his drink. Sirius nodded. They clinked their glasses together and each took a sip. Peter gagged. Sirius choked.

"Bloody hell." Said Sirius, between coughs "Couldn't they have given you something a bit stronger?"

"That tastes like petrol." Coughed Peter, pointlessly looking around for something to take the taste from his mouth, Sirius took another tiny sip. The drink did have something of a petrol-ish kick to it, just the thought brought Sirius right back to last summer; when the pretty muggle girl, who lived next door to Peter, had dared them to drink some.

"It probably is petrol." Sirius said with a nod, gagging slightly.

"Barman told me this was the best stuff they had as well." Peter sighed. "Suppose it was really cheap." He added, "Suppose the bloke mightn't have known his Firewhisky properly, he wasn't half young." Peter glanced over his shoulder, "God he looked like shit. Didn't really want him serving us, he looks like he might have flu or something." Sirius grimaced at that.

"So it's not just petrol, it's disease infested petrol." Sirius stood, slamming his palms dramatically on the table. "Fan-fucking-tastic."

"Where are you going?" asked Peter, as Sirius started forward, toward the bar.

"I'm going to get our money back." Said Sirius, proudly. "There was a time when I'd let this slide, but as an official poor person-"

"You're not poor! You've got all that inheritance from your dead uncle! And anyway, how can any one be poor when they're sponging off the Potters?" Peter interrupted. Sirius merely glared at him and strode over to the bar, passing a bewildered James on the way. The barman was tall and skinny and, Sirius noticed, smiling to himself as he did, had rather a fine arse. The rather distractingly familiar shade of light brown hair he had, made Sirius pause for a moment and consider his words.

"Excuse me." He said sharply, resting his elbows on the bar. The barman paid him no heed, and carried on wiping glasses. "Oi!" said Sirius. The Barman sighed and slammed down the glass,

"What." He snapped. Sirius' eyes widened, his heart began to thud and thud against his ribcage.

"Remus!" He grinned. "I didn't know you worked here as well!" Remus' mouth dropped open momentarily. "Wow. It's... it's just... great to see you." He said. Remus didn't look well at all though. He was sweating and even paler than usual and he'd obviously lost weight. His eyes were unusually bright and glassy looking, the dark rings beneath them were almost charcoal coloured. Sirius found himself entirely unperturbed. "Are you alright?" he asked. Remus nodded and shut his eyes tightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just. I'm not well." he replied. His voice was hoarse and strained.

"You shouldn't be working." Sirius said, he went to reach out and put a hand on Remus' arm, but Remus backed away. "You're not catching, are you?"

"I'm not. I finish here in about ten minutes and I'm not working my other job tonight." He snapped. "So if that's what you're after here, it's not going to happen, normally-" Sirius shook his head and cut Remus off.

"I don't want anything like that!" Sirius insisted, "I didn't even know you worked here! I'm just here for a drink. Well I'm here to get my money back. The whisky tasted like shit." Remus just laughed at him.

"Well what did you expect it to taste like? You only paid a sickle for it, for fuck's sake."

"Peter said you said that it was the best stuff you had!"

"I fear the sarcasm in my comment may have been ever so slightly lost on him."

"Oh." Sirius sighed. "I never knew you worked here."

"You said." Remus raised an eyebrow and came out from behind the bar. He walked past Sirius, to the front door, which he opened and poked his head around. He was illuminated by the dying sunlight and cast a long skinny shadow across the floor of the pub. A few patrons visibly flinched as the light hit them, and Remus stood, squinting, frowning at the sky. He looked at his watch and ran a hand through his hair.

"Do you want to meet my friends?" Sirius blurted. Remus cocked an eyebrow.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Dunno. I've just told them about you." Sirius shrugged, and Remus' other eyebrow lifted.

"You must be close." He said, almost suspiciously.

"I haven't told them... that I paid for it or anything." Sirius mumbled, flushing. "And I only told James that we..." he paused, and gave Remus a meaningful look. "You know." Remus just frowned.

"Fucked." He said frankly, curling his lip.

"Yeah." Sirius swallowed, and nodded. Remus sighed. He checked his watch, looked over his shoulder, at the bar, then his watch again. He heaved a sigh.

"Go on then. I've got a bit of time to kill." He rolled his eyes. Sirius grinned and clasped his wrist, noting how thin it was and how hot his skin felt.  
James, frowned as Sirius arrived at their table, Remus in tow. He smiled. James continued to frown and Peter merely looked confused, nursed his whisky with a grimace.

"Alright." Sirius said, ginning. James narrowed his eyes at Remus. "James, Peter, this is Remus."

"Evening." Said Remus, sticking a hand up, in what might have been some half hearted attempt at a wave.

"Remus, that's James and Peter. James with the glasses."

"Hullo." Said Peter, eyeing all three of them nervously.

"So..." said James, swirling the awful whisky around in his glass, obviously not drunk from. "You're the famous Remus." James smiled, mischievously, more evil than mischievous really. Remus looked at Sirius, smirking.

"... Famous, you say?" said Remus, eyebrows giving a self satisfied twitch.

"Oh, aye." James, leaned forward, his elbows on the table, evil smile still etched across his face. "He mustn't have known you worked here, or he'd have been down here every night."

"James. Shut the fuck up." Sirius spat. James giggled.

"He wrote you letters!"

"Letters you say?" Remus' smirk split into grin. Something that Sirius had never seen before, and even now, the grin was not quite a happy one. It seemed forced and didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Did not!" snarled Sirius.

"Did so!" sang James. Remus shook his head and checked his watch again, looking over his shoulder at the door.

"Right..." he said. "I'm off now... so... see you Sirius." He clasped Sirius' upper arm, briefly, offering a quick, crooked smile. He raised his hand to Peter and James again. "See you..." he tailed off, "...Etc." James scowled and Peter mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like tosser, under his breath.  
Remus started walking toward the door, Sirius waited till he was out of ear shot of James and Peter before following him.

"Aren't you going to wait till the next bloke comes in?" Sirius asked. Remus stopped, his body stiff and his jaw set tight. "To look after the bar? I mean."

"He'll be in soon enough." Snapped Remus. Sirius flinched and muttered an apology. Remus sighed , and carried on his way out the pub.

"I'll come and see you at the weekend!" Sirius called. "When you're here." He said, voice weaker now. "If that's alright?" Remus shrugged.

"Alright with me, love." He sighed. "See you." As Remus opened the door, the sun low and red now.

"Bye Remus!" shouted Sirius. Remus half waved and stepped outside, slamming the door behind him. Sirius flopped down back at his table, his face burning bright red.

"Bye Remus." Sang James. "You are so bent." He cackled.

"I hate you." Sirius moaned. "So much." Peter, double took, as if he wasn't quite sure what he'd just heard.

"You're bent?" he squeaked. Sirius dropped his eyes to his glass of rank whisky, the fumes stung his eyes.

"Erm." Was all he managed.

"As a tin foil sickle." Piped James. Peter shrugged.

"Can't say I'm that surprised, really."

"Hey." Sirius said, trailing a finger down Remus' bare back, across a new claw mark Remus hadn't seen yet. The healer at St. Mungo's had remarked on how nasty it looked. Remus didn't usually wait around after jobs, but the boy had paid for the room, and he was still a bit hung over from the full. And this bed was fucking comfortable.

"What." Remus mumbled into his pillow. Soft pillows as well. Nice quality fabric on the cases and they were stuffed with real feathers.

"These marks." Sirius said, running his palm up and down his back. Soothing. As if trying to make them fade away. "They're new."

"Yep." Remus muttered, again, directly into his pillow, just wanting to sleep. He was so tired. Sirius kissed his neck.

"Who did that to you?" he asked.

"I was attacked by wild dogs." He felt Sirius nuzzle at his scalp, bury his nose in his hair. He felt him inhale, deeply. One arm coiled around him, underneath him, and the other, lay pressed against his back. Remus failed to see how this could be even remotely comfortable for Sirius.

"No you weren't." He said firmly. "Who hurt you."

"Fuck off Sirius. No one hurt me." Remus swiped his arm back, completely failing to hit anything. Sirius sighed and pressed his fingers into the freshly healed wounds. All politeness was forgotten, and lost to his desire to sleep. "Those are fucking sore you know. Stop touching them."

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"You said you wanted me to stay with you for a while didn't you?" Sirius held him a bit tighter at that. "You said you just wanted to sleep next to me for a bit?"

"Yeah."

"Well shut up and let me sleep, then." Remus said sharply. "Stop asking stupid questions."

Sirius started to meet him regularly after that. Always meeting him after work. Always on Saturdays, and, generally, at least once or twice midweek. Sirius became his most frequent and reliable client. Sometimes Sirius booked them a room, usually, they went back to the brothel. Sirius always made an effort though. He was always showered and clean shaven, and smelled of a subtle, expensive aftershave.  
Remus decided that there could be far worse men to have as his most loyal customer.

*  
"What do you think about Quidditch, then?" asked Sirius. Remus rolled over and cleared his throat. Remus had made several comments about how the other people he saw weren't as talkative after sex as Sirius was. Sirius liked to think it set him apart from the others. Showed he cared.

"I don't really follow it." Remus replied. "Only bother with international games, really."

"Oh." Sirius felt a little disappointed. He fastened his belt. "You don't have a team then?"

"Nope. Do you?" Remus asked. He barely sounded half interested. It didn't bother Sirius though. It had never bothered him at all.

"Montrose Magpies." Said Sirius, smiling. Remus sat up, and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"That's my Dad's team." He said, smiling. Sirius felt his mouth stretch itself into a grin.

"Really?" he asked. Remus nodded, and beamed back. Though Sirius noted, there was still something... not quit there, about his smile, he chose to ignore it.

"S'pose they're my team as well." Remus said, a little wistfully. "Seems like fate." He sighed. Sirius felt his heart flutter, just a little. It clenched, however, when he remembered Remus had a family. He had parents who might have cared about him. He was someone's son. And Sirius was paying him for... things.

"Do your parents know you do this?" Sirius found himself asking, impulsively, the words spilling from his mouth without consulting his brain first. Remus' brow crinkled.

"What? That I'm a wh-"

"Yeah." Sirius cut him off, suddenly. He wasn't quite sure why. "That you do this." Remus snorted at him.

"Do your parents know you do this?" Sirius flushed, and shook his head.

"No." He replied, swallowing. "I ran away from home." Remus ran a hand through his hair, looking not quite interested.

"Me too." Said Remus.

"Why?" Sirius asked. His head had failed to remind him of the concept of tact or social propriety,

"Dunno really." Remus said, his eyes rolling back into his head, ponderously. "Felt like I was imposing." He laughed a bit, to himself. Sirius just frowned, not quite seeing the joke.

"I can't tell if you're being funny or not."

"Can't you?" Remus laughed again, louder this time, and fell out of his sitting position, back onto the bed.

"Aren't you going to tell me if you were being funny or not?"

"Nope." Remus said flatly. He lifted his wrist lazily and looked at the face of his battered old watch. He sighed. "Why did you run away from home then?" he asked. Sirius straightened the collar of his school shirt, regretting not changing into a t-shirt a little.

"My family are mental." Said Sirius gravely. He saw Remus wrinkle his nose.

"How mental could they be?" he asked, disapprovingly.

"I'm Sirius Black." Remus sat up again at that, his eyes widened in surprise, his lip curled in horror.

"Fucking hell."

"Yep."

"Didn't they come looking for you?" Remus said, spluttering his words a bit. Sirius wasn't sure why.

"Nah. It was more like... I ran away before they could throw me out." Sirius replied. His leaving the family home was almost a mutual agreement, only, with more shouting and cursing and throwing of antiques.

"Ah." Said Remus, rubbing his eyes and wrapping the thin duvet around his waist, he stood up, and made his way over to the window.

"Did yours come looking?" Sirius asked. Remus shrugged, his eyes fixed on the rain spattering against the windows and the street below them.

"Dunno." He said. "They had me registered dead, though."

*  
"Do you follow Quidditch, love?" The woman rasped. She picked her bra up from the floor and fastened it backwards, spinning it around and pulling the lacy cups over her breasts, and the straps, over her narrow, sharp shoulders. Steely grey was seeping out into her bleached blonde hair, which hung lank and too straight, just past her chin.

"To a degree." Said Remus. The woman smiled, the wrinkles around her thinned lips became, for a moment, undetectable.

"I used to play Quidditch, you know." She said. The smile, though it caused the corners of her eyes to crease, lifted years from her. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Mmm?"

"I'm Leda Thomas." She nodded, and tugged her skirt on, over her dimpled thighs and her non-existent arse, "Played for the arrows. '63 to '68," She paused and looked up at him hopefully "I don't suppose... Have you heard of me?" Remus, without thinking, nodded.

"Yeah! Course!" He grinned. "The Arrows were my Dad's team. Come to think of it, I think I remember your last match." Said Remus. The woman, Leda, sighed.

"When I had my accident. I'm not surprised you remember that." She said, what was left of her right arm twitched. "First recorded limb loss since 1834." She sighed. "Everyone always said it was a shame. I could have been so great." She tugged on her blouse, and began to fasten up the buttons.

"You were great." Remus said firmly. "I remember my dad always used to go on about... oh... erm, what was that match? The one where you... did that broom thing. And just... got to the snitch... before... Whatsisface." He said, snapping his fingers and screwing up his face like he was trying to remember. She lit up.

"You mean when we played the Tornados in, in '65, when they were top of the league and, and I did the Wronski Feint!"

"Yeah!" Remus grinned, relieved and, frankly quite impressed with himself.

"I... I can't believe anyone still remembers that." She laughed and shook her head, tugging on a light green robe.

"Well I do. My Dad used to go on about it an awful lot. Whenever the arrows played, he used to say, Oh I wish they had someone like Thompson-"

"Thomas." She muttered, stepping into her sensible, green heels. Remus gave her his nervous, crooked smile.

"I said Thomas, didn't I?" he said worriedly. She looked guilty.

"Oh." She nodded. "'Course you did. I just misheard."  
Before she left, she whispered, Thank you and kissed him, rather too tenderly on the forehead. Remus wasn't quite sure how to react to that.  
The extra few galleons, however.

*  
"How old are you?" asked Sirius.

"Why do you want to know now?" Remus asked suspiciously. Sirius shrugged.

"I'm just curious." He said innocently, raising his hands to his chest. Remus shuffled between Sirius legs, and busied himself undoing his jeans for him.

"I was seventeen two weeks ago." Remus said, scowling at the second button, he obviously hadn't noticed. Sirius' mouth dropped, guilt made his chest clench.

"Were you? I'd have gotten you something." He said. Remus undid the button, then looked up at him, disbelieving.

"Mmm. Give me another twenty, and we'll call it even." He said, smiling. Sirius still couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

"Alright. I always just assumed you were at least... a bit older than I was."

"Did you?"

"You're actually like... four months younger than me."

"Well there you go."

*  
"Oh for fuck's sake, Padfoot!" whined James, flopping back onto the wall, with his arms folded. Sirius ran the brush through a lock of hair, and pushed it back off his face.

"What?" Sirius set the brush down on the bed, but carried on in front of the mirror, plucking at his jeans.

"You're preening. Again." James said, shaking his head, and sounding thoroughly disappointed.

"Yes... so what if I am?" asked Sirius. He turned to face James now, who straightened, arms still folded.

"So you're seeing him. Again."

"Yep." Sirius brushed a few hairs from his t-shirt. James scowled. "What?"

"Well... tell you the truth Sirius, me and Wormy are starting to feel a bit neglected." He huffed, Sirius smirked at him and James began to pout. "I mean... we wouldn't just start... fucking off every spare moment we had, just because we had a girlfriend." Sirius laughed, in utter disbelief of his friend's words. Sirius knew the second Lily Evans finally gave in, he'd certainly be playing second fiddle. But he didn't like to think about that.

"He's not my boyfriend." Sirius tutted. "We're just fucking around, stupid."

"I don't get why you always make such an effort if you're just fucking around." James sneered. "Or why you keep abandoning me and Peter." Sirius rolled his eyes, and hurled a balled up pair of socks at James.

"Bugger off. I'm not abandoning you, you bloody drama queen." Sirius chuckled and James stuck his tongue out.

"You are a bit though." James changed his posture, resting one hand on his hip, and letting the other fall limp at the wrist. He took a great sniff, and wobbled his lip. "You're dumping me for some other bloke, who isn't even any where near as good looking as me."

"Don't lie to yourself James, it's not good for you." Sirius laughed, while James looked rather appalled.

"It is! And I'm not lying to myself! He's all pale and pinched and poorly looking!"

"Be that as it may..." Sirius sighed, and smiled to himself. "He has the most lovely mouth. And nice eyes. And he's got a lot of scars, but I like them. And his hair is nice and soft." Sirius snapped away from his image of Remus, to see a horrified James. "You can't compete with that Prongs, your hair is more wiry than my pubes."

"Eugh! Rank!" James moaned, burying his face in his palms (and giving his hair a surreptitious feel.) While James recovered, Sirius hunted around the room for his wallet. James, merely watched him for a moment or two, his face thoughtful. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "Erm... Sirius... You don't... love him, or anything. Do you?" Sirius shuddered, and attributed it to the draft in the room.

"Just stay out of it Prongs." He said affectionately. "I appreciate your concern, but you're well out of your depth here."

"That's a yes, then?"

"That's a fuck off." Sirius found his wallet, and was now fit to leave the grounds, his confidence long having out grown the need for the invisibility cloak.

"Alright. Message received." James held up his hands in defeat, suddenly grinning. "... Bender." He muttered.

Sirius left the dormitory, but not before smacking James around the back of the head.

*

Mark dropped a bowl of salad on the table, in front of Remus; eyeing him suspiciously. Remus eyed back, more suspicious. He eyed the salad with the same distrust for good measure. Mark leaned in, his eyes narrowed.

"Yes?" Said Remus "To what do I owe this invasion of my personal bubble?"

"That boy, Remus." Said Mark. "That boy, with the pretty hair, and the cheekbones."

"What about him." Remus leant back in his chair. Mark leant forward, picking up a leaf of lettuce and twirling it between his fingers.

"He's here all the fucking time." He pointed the lettuce accusatorily at Remus. "And he's always here for you. Never anyone else."

"Yes." Remus said curtly. He could see the dirty little cogs in Mark's brain churning.

"And you bring him straight back from the Hog's Head."

"I do."

"You love him, don't you." Mark poked Remus on the tip of his nose with the lettuce leaf. Remus snatched the leaf, and dropped it back into the salad bowl.

"I love his cash." He said bluntly. "And his arse is pretty top notch as well. He's just a rich, attractive client who happens to have gotten himself inexplicably attached to me." Mark kicked him under the table.

"I don't believe you." He replied, firm yet petulant. Remus kicked him back.

"That's because you keep a stack of those silly Mills and Boon novels in your wardrobe, behind a couple of shoe boxes filled with soppy love letters." Mark went bright red.

"You snooped around in my room?"

"You snoop around in mine all the time!"

"I've never read your love letters!" Mark threw an olive at him and missed. "I didn't even touch any of your silly, precious magic books!"

"I don't keep bloody love letters." Said Remus, rolling his eyes, picking the olive up off the table and throwing it back at Mark. "And my magic books are not silly." He snapped. The olive hit Mark square on the chin.

"Then neither are my Mills and Boon novels." He huffed. "Some of them are really rather compelling."

A/N: Remember to review. My ego needs feeding.


	4. Part 4 Epilogue

A/N: Sorry again for not replying to feedback, I'm busy and lazy in equal amounts, but it is greatly appreciated :).

Sirius came to see Remus for the last time that summer the day before he left for school. For August, almost September, even for a morning, it was particularly cold, and the light had a strange, harsh edge to it.  
He slipped down that once strange street he had never noticed, a street that was now, all too familiar to him. Its entrance, marked by a simple pair of stone pillars, had never leapt out at him before but now seemed to scream at him. Before, he had, perhaps, been too preoccupied with thoughts of sneaking into the ever off limits Knockturn Alley, just across the way.  
The knockers on the door of the brothel were still frankly distasteful, though they amused him more now than they had almost a year ago. Sirius strolled, oh-so casually into the reception, where he took a seat on the sofa and waited eagerly for Remus.  
Remus emerged from a concealed room, idly spinning his wand in his hand. Sirius waved, not catching his attention. Remus, too absorbed in twirling his wand around, made his way upstairs, while a fat old man made his way down them. He scowled. Surely it was a tad early for this sort of thing.  
He waited for the man to waddle his way out, and then went up the stairs after Remus, who was already shut up in his room.  
Sirius knocked once, then waited. No answer.  
He knocked, and waited again.

Pursing his lips, and scrubbing his hair nervously, he shuffled on the spot. He shook his head and decided to simply enter the room, wondering, what's the worst that could happen?

He found Remus, on his knees. In front of a tall, fair boy, he was sure he recognised from Hogwarts.

He quickly slammed the door and stood wide eyed in the hall way. His throat dried and his chest clenched. He felt nauseous. He felt he could be physically sick. He slid down against the wall, and rested his head in his hands. He gathered his thoughts.  
An emotional, doggy voice, whined: _mine, he's mine, it's not fair, he's mine_, while a spiteful, logical voice drawled,_well this is his job, you stupid git. What did you expect?_

Sirius sat still for ten minutes, the boy he had recognised turned out to be Evan fucking Rosier of all people. He used to bully Peter, he was a wannabe Death Eater and had one of those faces, you really just wanted to punch.

A moment after Rosier left, apparently not noticing Sirius hunched over on the floor, Remus popped his head round the door, his lips red and swollen. He looked suspiciously up and down the corridor, then rolled his eye and shouted,  
"That's not fucking funny Julian!" A muffled, groan came in reply.

"What's not fucking funny?"

"Knocking on the door, coming in, then fucking off. It's annoying." The aforementioned Julian appeared at his door, across and one to the left of Remus'; a skeletal boy, who looked sicker than Remus did, and with a tangle of blond, curly hair.

"For one," he snarled, rubbing his eyes. "I only started doing that because you charmed that sodding dust bunny to follow me around, and for two, that wasn't me. So..." He sneered and looked thoughtful. "Fuck you." There was a loud bang from somewhere down the corridor, and a high pitched wail of,

"It's nine in the morning! Shut the fuck up!" the wail was ignored. Remus carried arguing with the blonde boy.

"Then who the fuck-" Sirius stood up and waved. "... Never mind Julian. Sorry."

"Too fucking right you are." Julian said, petulantly, he stuck out his tongue and slammed the door.

"Morning." Said Remus. "Early for you. You coming in?" Sirius, his insides still twisted into a sickly knot, nodded. And tugged at the collar of his jacket when he realised his ears and neck were burning with an angry flush. He followed Remus into his room, his legs reluctant to carry him.  
"You've chopped your hair off." Said Remus, the tone of his voice was a surprised one, but he barely batted an eyelid. Sirius nodded, scrubbing at his hair again.

"Mrs Potter thought it would suit me." Sirius muttered. "I'm not too sure." He sighed. Remus wandered into his bathroom for a moment, and came out with a toothbrush dangling from his mouth. "I thought you didn't work mornings."

"I don't." Remus said, he removed the toothbrush, and spoke awkwardly around the foam in his mouth. "But Whatsisface was in, and he usually asks for Dean, but he was really early, and Dean was still asleep and Madam May didn't want to wake him." Remus went back to brushing his teeth.

"Oh. Well. Fair enough." Mumbled Sirius. "You know he's in my year at Hogwarts." Remus strolled back into the bathroom. Sirius heard him spit and gargle.

"Really?" Remus snorted. "He told me he was twenty, working full time for that `_Dark Lord Voldemort_`, or what ever he's going by now, and his band of merry men."

"Well he's not." Sirius sneered. "He's just an uppity, Slytherin shit." Remus smirked at him.

"He is, is he?" Sirius nodded in earnest. Remus shook his head, and opened his wardrobe, warning Sirius he was about to get undressed. Sirius sat on the edge of Remus' bed and looked around the room. The stack of books on the rickety desk, that big old window, with a recently sealed crack, an amateur job, by the looks of it. Above Remus' bed, hung the faded Gryffindor banners Sirius recognised as ones he'd had in his old room in Grimmauld place, and the ones that hung in James' bedroom where he slept now.

"Remus?" asked Sirius. Remus grunted, and tugged off the tatty old t-shirt he was wearing, dropping it at his feet. "You did go to Hogwarts, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Gryffindor." Remus gestured vaguely toward the banners, and tugged his pyjama bottoms down. "I only lasted about a term, mind. I got chucked out." He kicks his ankles free from the bottoms, odd tartan pattern, cheap looking flannel.

"I should remember you." Said Sirius, he raked his memory of first year, but all he could dredge up was a vague sense of happiness, and echoes of the things he was so wrapped up in... playing with James, and having fun and winding up Slytherins.

"I don't remember you, particularly." Said Remus. "I was absent a lot. Either my parents had brought me home because I was ill, or I was in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey might remember me, but I doubt anyone else would." Remus took a towel from the wardrobe and slung it over his shoulder. "Never sat with anyone in lessons. Hardly went to them really. Dumbledore had me off in my own, special little dorm as well."

"Why on earth would he do that?"

"I was very ill and very... nervous." Remus sighed. "I was terrified of people. Couldn't bare loud noises or being touched or anything." He looked at Sirius, a wistful little smirk on his face. "Rather ironic considering my job, where people touch me and then make loud noises because of it." He laughed to himself.

"S'not really funny." Sirius said. "Why'd you get chucked out?" he asked. Remus ignored him.

"You're in an odd mood today." Remus remarked, tugging down his shorts and wrapping the towel around his waist. Sirius pouted.

"You're always in an odd mood."

"No. I'm just odd." Said Remus. He pulled the chair round from his desk to face Sirius, and sat down. "Why are you here so early anyway?"

"No reason. I just... wanted to see you." Remus frowned.

"Oh." He sighed heavily, and Sirius flinched, under Remus' dissatisfied expression.

"Sorry." Said Sirius.

"For what?"

"I don't know." He honestly didn't. Remus shook his head, and stood. "Remus... Why'd you get chucked out of school?" Remus rolled his eyes.

"Can I take my shower?" he asked. Sirius realised he was not going to get an answer. Perhaps he'd asked too much already.

"Alright."

"You coming with?"

"Yeah."

"It'll cost you."

"I know."

Sirius decided - as he decided every time he felt his wallet get considerably lighter- that all of this was worth the money. Seeing Remus, the rivets of scolding water cascading down his back, over soft pink flesh, reddened by hot water and interrupted frequently by knots of scar tissue. The scars themselves, especially on the raised areas, where they would usually be a stark white, seemed to glow scarlet, far redder than Remus' soft, unharmed skin. There were new scars there, ones where the tissue is not as set, and Sirius remembered the first time they'd met, and Madam May told him Remus had been in a car accident. Car accident my arse, he thought, sullen.  
He wondered how many of Remus' customers had seen the inside of his shower, how many had seen Remus' thighs and bum and shoulders turn bright red under the spray of the water. How many had kissed that spot on his neck, that made the corners of his mouth flick upward. How many had fucked him, but actually made him hard while they did. How many had made him come, shuddering and groaning against the blue tiled walls of the bathroom, and made him have to grab at the shower curtain to steady himself.

Sirius liked being on top, mostly. Not that he didn't like it when Remus fucked him (Merlin knew he loved that.) But he needed to feel like he controlled Remus, at least, in those moments. He needed to know he could tame Remus, just for an instant, briefly reduce him to something as wanton and pathetic as Sirius was.  
When they were like this, he and Remus were the only people in the world, all that mattered. And Sirius felt whole. Like some other part of him he'd never known had been missing had slotted into place, Sirius felt complete.

When they were done, Sirius sat and dried off, and watched Remus count his money, and add it to his earnings.

"Do you like it?" Sirius asked. Remus removed the towel from his waist and scrubbed his hair with it.

"Like what? Money?"

"No. Yes." Sirius shook his head. "I meant, do you like your job. Do you like, having sex for money?"

"Sometimes." Said Remus, thoughtfully. "I like having money. Sometimes I like having sex. So all in all, it's not too bad." Sirius didn't worry about how invasive he was being. He just wanted the answers. Answers told him whether he should have some hope, or abandon it.

"Do you like having sex with me?" He asked. Remus looked irritated, and pulled a clean pair of boxers out from the bottom of his wardrobe.

"Full of questions today, aren't we?" he replied, snappishly. Sirius didn't worry about upsetting him. Sirius wanted an answer.

"Just answer me." Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Yes. I suppose I do." He said, his lips pursed. Sirius wondered, was that embarrassment? "I like it a lot."

"And do you like me?" Sirius asked, sounding desperate then. Remus shrugged, half smiled.

"Yeah. You're alright."

"I like you." Sirius replied. His voice was so hollow as he heard it. Remus, stepping gracefully into his shorts, pulling them up, the elastic snapped against his hips.

"I know." Remus reached for a shirt and tugged it over his shoulders, leaving it unfastened. As Sirius spoke, Remus turned to face him, their eyes meeting, their gazes heavy. Sirius knew not what his gaze was heavy with, but hoped it was not the sudden rush of impotency and despair that had washed over him. Remus' gaze was hard. Cold. So empty, his eyes could have been made from a finely polished glass.

"Sometimes I think I like you too much." It was almost a whisper, Sirius wasn't even sure Remus had heard him. He shook his head and began pulling on his clothes as well. Remus stood and watched, his eyes, when Sirius checked, still as glassy and lifeless as they had been.

"So do I." Remus sighed.

*  
"Merlin, what's wrong with you?" asked James. The train jerked, and Sirius' hand slipped from beneath his chin and the force of the train caused him to bang his head on the window.

"Eh?"

"You've had a face like a smacked arse for the entire journey." James whispered, trying not to wake Peter, who was gently snoring next to him. Sirius shrugged at him.

"Just my face."

"I don't like this." James hissed. "I hate it, in fact."

"What?" Sirius shrugged again, earning a glare from James, who's whispered voice had suddenly hopped up an octave in frustration.

"Every time you're away from... from Him! You just! ... I dunno." James was muttering, angrily now. "You're like half a person." The genuine concern in James' eyes did nothing to hold back a contemptuous snort from Sirius.

"Says the man who's spent a good five years mooning over Lily Evans!"

"I've never mooned to this extent." Which was true. James had huffed and pouted but he'd never looked as if he felt as bad as Sirius did.

"Shut up James." Sirius hissed, at a loss for an argument. James looked at Sirius, then at Peter. He grabbed Sirius by the wrist and dragged him out of the compartment into the train's long corridor.

"I'm not going to shut up." Sirius gritted his teeth and took his wand from his pocket.

"I'll shut you up in a minute." To his surprise, Sirius found his wand being very delicately plucked from his white knuckle grip.

"Ah ah!" Said Lily, suddenly appearing from behind them. "I thought I heard fighting." She said. "Well that's enough of that, thank you very much." She jabbed Sirius in the side with his wand, then looked over at James, and positively purred, "Honestly, you'd think the Head Boy would know better, wouldn't you?" James went red. Lily smirked to herself.

"Sod off Evans." Barked Sirius, snatching back his wand. Lily blinked, and gave an outraged little snort.

"Excuse me?"

"Sod off Evans, we're busy." Sirius waved his hand at her, Lily pursed her lips and flexed her fingers. James' wand was already at his throat.

"Don't talk to Lily like that, you great ponce!" he snarled.

"Don't call me a ponce you... twat!" Sirius squeaked. He hadn't meant to squeak, but it was difficult not to. James had never properly pulled his wand on Sirius, not since they were first years. Certainly not with such a ferocious expression on his face.

"What are you fighting about anyway?" asked Lily, softly.

"Sirius can't see that some twat is messing him around." James' eyes, honest, soft, hazel coloured, seemed to burn into him. Sirius wanted to burn him back.

"James can't see that it's none of his fucking business whether I'm getting messed around or not." James lowered his wand, and turned to face Lily.

"He's a different person." Said James, accusing.

"He's a nosey cunt." Replied Sirius, tartly.

"He's miserable."

"He's still a nosey cunt."

"I'm only looking out for him."

"You're being a nosey cunt."

"I'm being a concerned friend."

"What if your friends don't want your concern?" Lily stood watching them with her mouth ajar. James shook his head at Sirius, and threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

"You know what mate? I really can't arsed with you when you're acting like this. Come and speak to me when... I dunno, when you've decided you're not going to act like a massive wanker." James when back to their compartment, slamming the door shut behind him. Lily frowned at Sirius.

"You know, you shouldn't let some stupid girl ruin your life." Lily spat, starting after James.

"Keep your nose out Evans! You don't know the half of it! ... And she's not stupid!" Sirius called after her. She kept walking, shaking her head. "Fucking hell Lily, she's not even a she." Lily stopped. Stiffened. Spun on her heel.

"Oh." Hey eyes were wide. Sirius folded his arms.

"Oh indeed." Lily was too shocked to continue arguing, or even marching away from him. She looked as if she was thinking, before she coughed and squeaked,

"I... Um. I like your hair!" before trotting along after James again. Sirius sighed.

"Sirius... I'm worried about you." Said Jennifer. Their first night back on rounds. Still as pale and delicate looking as ever. Her lips just the right shape. Her hair, just that perfect shade of brown, and almost exactly the same damn haircut. Her eyes were the right colour as well.  
If she just... lost a little bit of weight, maybe. If her chest was flatter, and her face was more gaunt. If she had those huge black circles under her eyes. She could have been a dead ringer for him.  
She could still easily pass as his sister.

"You are aware that's the first time you've spoken to me properly, in over a year of patrolling together." Sirius sighed. Jennifer flushed bright red.

"Sorry." She squeaked.

"It's alright."

"I'm just worried." She sputtered. "You've been... so sad looking.. whenever I've seen you. Quiet. It's not like you." Her voice even sounded watery. Her eyes were bigger than his. The same colour... no where near as empty. Hers still had a spark to them. An innocence to them Sirius had never seen in his.

"It's fine." Sirius mumbled. "I'll get over it." Jennifer took his hand, squeezing it gently.

"I hope you do." She promptly let go. "Sorry. You looked like you- bollocks. Sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

"You like that, don't you." Grunted the man. Remus sighed.

"Yes." He whined. Couldn't be bothered to put on a show today, but, he remained professional. Couldn't be bothered with much at all, really.

"You slut." He hit Remus across the mouth, "You love this, don't you? You slut." He hit Remus again. He felt his lip pop, and a little drop of blood trickle down his chin. Remus merely nodded. It had reached the point now, where he couldn't even be bothered to be annoyed by this sort of shit. He nodded, and whined and whimpered and looked desperate and wanton and pathetic in all the right places, only half heartedly so. And when the man was done, he sneered, and asked him sharply if he had a family.

"Wife. Two daughters." He replied. Remus smirked.

"Do they know about your... hobbies?" The man flushed, threw a handful of galleons at Remus and smacked him, harshly catching his cheekbone. Remus grabbed his wand, a reflex now, and the man was pinned up against the wall. Remus kicked him in the bollocks, and levitated him, paralysed, outside.  
He told Madam May not to let him back in. May shook her head and mumbled something about needing to get some decent security. She healed the slowly forming bruises on his cheek, and he felt his popped lip knit itself back together.

"You shouldn't let them hit so hard." She said, patting his face when she was done. Remus shrugged. He shouldn't, he supposed. But if he was to be perfectly honest, he wasn't sure if he cared.

It was the first weekend in October. For some reason, he'd made a point of having Remus for as long as he could.

"Remus?" Sirius was still breathing heavily. Remus as well. The sheets were damp with sweat, and the usually cold room was stuffy. The air was almost too thick to breath.

"What." Remus sighed. Sirius lay his palm flat on Remus' chest. Remus looked at the hand, then looked at Sirius. An utterly pained expression on his face.

"More new scars." He said gently. Remus shut his eyes.

"Ten out of ten Sherlock." He mumbled. He tried to remove Sirius' hand from his chest, but ended up with his hands clasped around a clenched fist.

"Remus. Please... if someone..." Sirius stopped and swallowed. His voice was thick. Remus hadn't until now noticed the bags under his eyes or the sporadic patches of stubble on his chin. "If someone really is hurting you-" The kicked puppy look, bordering on absolute despair. Enough was enough.

"Then what?" he snapped flinging away Sirius' hand. "What the fuck would you be able to do about it?" Sirius flinched.

"... I could take you away from here." Remus laughed. The sound was bitter on his tongue.

"Pardon?" he said, disbelieving.

"I'm... I can just about afford to buy my own flat." Said Sirius, clenching at the sheets. "It's just a pokey little thing, and there's not much room, but... there's room enough for two." He looked up at Remus hopefully. Remus stared past him, out the window.  
It was raining.

"I don't understand." He replied flatly.

"What's there to understand? I want you to come and live with me. I want us to be... together..." Sirius breath was shaking now. Remus begged inwardly for it not to be tears he was hearing on the boy's voice. "Together... Properly. Not just shagging. I don't want to have to pay for it anymore."

"Why?" Remus said. Didn't even ask it, just stated it. Half in disbelief at Sirius, for having the sheer bollocks (or stupidity) to propose this, half at himself, for not seeing this coming.  
_This isn't my fault,_ he thought, _I'm a whore. He came to me. He knew. He kept coming back. Not my fault._

Sirius voice was barely there now, and his clear pale eyes had reddened. Tiny spider's webs of veins, spreading through them. They shone. The bright grey of his iris stood out eerily against the red, half magnified by unshed tears.

"Do I really have to say it?"

Remus fought to steady his breathing. He was furious. A strange inward kind of fury he'd never experienced before. Furious at Sirius for making him feel guilty for just doing his job. Furious at himself for doing the job in the first place. Furious at his parents for running him through every fucking test they could find, having him prodded and poked when they knew he couldn't stand it. Furious at Dumbledore for not making sure no one followed him to the willow. Furious at one Severus Snape for following in the first place and then whining to the board of governors. Furious at the werewolf that unwittingly ruined his life.  
Remus was utterly furious.  
He could have screamed.  
For over ten years of life fucking him over in every conceivable way. He could have screamed.

"What's there to say." He growled. So measured. So cold. Sirius tore back the sheets and fell out of the bed, landing on the floor with a thud. His knees cracked. In the room's roaring silence, Remus heard only their laboured breathing, and the sound of two heavy splashes on the bare wooden floor.

"You know what, sod it." Sirius gurgled. "I don't know why I even bother... Why I even did this to myself in the first place."

"Fuck knows." Remus sighed. Sirius sniffed. "Calm down, will you!"

"How the fuck can I calm down?" He snarled. His breath came in sporadic gasps and coughs. Remus watched him._All this fuss_, he thought, _just for me_.

"Why do you want me anyway?" he asked. Sirius shrugged. "I don't get it." Sirius turned to face him, sat on his backside rather than his knees, he leant back against the wardrobe and put his face in his hands.

"I just do." Remus shook his head.

"You don't want me." Sirius took his head from his hands and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"I do." He replied firmly. Remus gritted his teeth. He leant forward, as close as he could get to Sirius without acctually getting off the bed.

"For fuck's sake Sirius." He sighed. He needed his voice to be as empty and acidic, as frank as he could get it, so as not to sound pathetic. He needed Sirius' pity as much as we wanted it.  
"I'm a whore, you idiot. I've no bloody education, I'll never get a job, or get married or spawn, so I'm basically useless! On top of that I'm a complete arse hole!" He laughed, bitter, again, on his tongue. "All I'm good for is sex. I'm not fit for a fucking relationship."

Sirius blinked at him.

"That's not true." Sirius looked offended, as Remus had been speaking about him rather than himself. Remus merely sneered.

"Yes it is." Remus was not to be argued with.

There was a long pause. Staggeringly long, in which Remus knew not where to look, and Sirius looked directly at him. One tear sprung from his left eye, he caught it on his sleeve in an instant.  
Sirius cleared his throat.

"I love you."

"No you don't."

"I do." His voice was almost steady again. His eyes were wide and earnest. Always so bloody earnest. "I've never been in love before but... I don't know." His eyelashes fluttered. Remus just wanted this to be over. "When I look at you... my chest hurts."

Remus sighed. Rolled his eyes. Considering smacking Sirius right on the mouth.

"You love an ideal." He spat. "You love a stupid fanciful thing. A thing in your head." Sirius glared at him. Remus glared back. "You don't know me."

"Let me know you." Sirius stood up, came toward him.

"No." Remus turned away but Sirius grabbed his jaw and twisted his neck.

"I want you." He pleaded. He leaned in, pressed their lips together. He kissed Remus. Every ounce of him seemed to be in that. That kiss. Remus didn't have the heart to break it.

"Anything you could possibly need Remus... I could give it to you. You've already got half my money. You've got my heart. For fuck's sake... what else could you want." He was pleading, swallowing sobs and covering them with strange, fitful barks of laughter, "If you asked for it... I'd give you... my head on... on a platter."

"I don't want anything." He sighed. Sirius kissed him on the forehead.

"Please." on the cheek. "You're just..." On the nose. "I'm yours." On the lips again. Remus felt his chest... his chest hurt. "Please."

Hopelessly, no more arguing in him, he merely blurted the words that would send most people running about fifty miles in the opposite direction.

"I'm a werewolf."

Sirius stopped kissing. Pulled back. Looked Remus up and down, his face twisting and contorting, into a myriad of different expressions. Behind his eyes, Remus saw what Sirius claimed to be love, battling with an obtuse pureblood upbringing.

Finally, Sirius shrugged. A small smile.

"No body's perfect."

*  
"What was wrong with him today?" asked Mark, at tea. Madam May was picking at her pasta and filing her nails, Sam was eating so quickly he'd choked twice and Jove had made a game of flicking bits of pasta at Mark, every now and again.

"Who?" Remus asked. Mark rolled his eyes.

"You know. Whatsisface. Cheek Bones."

"Sirius."

"Yeah." Mark nodded, and shovelled a few forkfuls of pasta into his mouth, eagerly awaiting an explanation from Remus, which, of course, never came. Madam May looked up from her nails.

"I did see him leave looking upset earlier." She sighed. "What happened." Remus' fist tightened around his fork.

"He got too attached. So I sent him on his way." He said nonchalantly. Madam May gave him a startled look, lay down her nail file and stood.

"Remus. Can I see you in your room for a moment?" Remus set down his fork, and followed May out the room, he heard Jove sing "Ooo someone's in trouble".  
May shut the door behind her, and cast a silencing charm. She drummed her nails on the door and took a deep breath. Her lips pursed.

"What?" Remus asked. He was swallowed, panicked suddenly.

"You sent him on his way?" May snarled.

"Yup." Remus shrugged. "He was getting all clingy and lovey dovey. Can't be arsed to deal with that crap." He mumbled. May jabbed him in the chest with a jagged, unfiled nail.

"Remus. You'd best get him back." She hissed. Remus swallowed again. He considered it. He could catch Sirius on his next Hogsmeade trip. He could apologise, give a false declaration of love and they could carry on as they were.  
But it wouldn't work like that. Sirius would want to take him away again. Sirius would want a relationship, he'd want them living together and behaving like real lovers. And Sirius would just be happy with Remus living off of him. Remus would be getting something for nothing, be indebted to Sirius for the rest of his life. He'd be taking charity. And what's worse, he'd be trapped.  
No. He wasn't that desperate.

"What for? S'not like I don't have other customers." May took another deep breath.

"Remus. There's no nice way to put this, but with the way you're beginning to look, how quickly you seem to be aging... Well that boy is basically the only thing keeping you in this house." Remus scowled. He caught his pale washed out reflection in the window. The bags under his eyes. The scars. Even a few worry lines starting to crinkle his forehead. He could have sworn he found a gray hair the other day, as well.  
"Unless you'd be willing to wear a glamour, of course."

"Glamour... fuck that, no way. I still get plenty of work." he muttered.

"You get plenty of work when the other boys are busy." She snapped. Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"So it's get him back, or get out?" he asked. May nodded gravely. Remus was not sure what to do. What he wanted. Who he wanted.

He wanted time to think. He needed time.

"Give me a month."

Sirius didn't see him for almost a month. But on a dark November night, the night he turned Eighteen; when, even after drinking as much as James could afford in the Three Broomsticks, Sirius could almost feel a gaping hole in his chest. He gave in. He snatched up the invisibility cloak, not wanting to risk getting caught at any cost, and a handful of the common room's floo powder. Wandlessly, he started the fire, too desperate to be impressed with himself, he threw the handful of floo powder into the fire and whispered the address of the brothel.  
It was busier than Sirius had ever seen it. The place, apparently, came alive at night. There were men standing everywhere, awkwardly conversing, or being pulled away by boy Sirius didn't recognise. He scanned the room for Remus, every flash of light brown hair, belonging to the wrong body, every tall, thin body, belonged to the wrong head.  
He pushed through the sparse crowd, to the seating area, to find a boy with a mass of dark hair, lying on a sofa waving a spoon around. On the next sofa alone, there was a young boy, with long fair hair in the lap of a middle aged looking man, sitting on his lap and occasionally wriggling lewdly and giggling, when the older man whispered to him.  
Sirius tapped the boy with the spoon on the shoulder.

"Excuse me um-" The boy cut him off, and grinned at him.

"Oh. Cheek Bones. Haven't seen you in a while." He said cheerfully.

"What?"

"Christ! You're bloody tall, aren't you?" Remarked the boy.

"Yes, I suppose I am." He replied, exasperated. "Where's Remus? Can I see him?"

"Remus?" the boy wrinkled his nose. "We thought he'd fucked off with you?" Sirius swallowed, a cold chill started at the top of his head, and tickled down his neck, his back, till it reached his feet and curled his toes.

"You mean he's not here?" Sirius asked. The boy frowned.

"He packed up his shit and ran off about three weeks ago. Cleared all that fucking money out of Gringott's account as well." He sighed. "Didn't even leave a note." The boy lay the spoon on his chest. "He was like... my best mate you know. And he just left. Just gone. Just like that." The boy pursed his lips. "I didn't mind as much when I thought... He'd run off for love. In fact I was happy for him but. I'm not sure now." The boy mumbled. "Could have at least warned me."

"So you have no idea where he is?" Sirius asked, desperately. The boy picked up his spoon and shrugged. "Not even... like the slightest hint or anything?" The boy shrugged again.

"I know that his parents live somewhere in the Yorkshire Dales. But that's not much help, is it?" Sirius shook his head. "Sorry. Haven't the foggiest. Trust me, if I had the foggiest, you'd be the first person I'd tell. What's your name, actually, so I know who to write to." Sirius swallowed, his stomach clenched and his chest just ached. He half suspected that's all his chest knew how to do, and all it would do from now on. The boy just smiled at him indulgently.

"Sirius. Sirius Black. And thank you." Sirius asked him thickly "Why me?".

"I read too many romance novels." The boy said, almost to himself. Sirius could feel his eyes stinging.

"You think he'll come back? Or write to you?"

"I don't know. Knowing him, I doubt it. He doesn't like to rely on people, hates to impose. Wouldn't want to be seen to come crawling back, no matter how good it would be for him. Wouldn't be tragic enough or... Dunno, not fucking noble enough I suppose." The boy snorted. "Fucking Martyr."

Sirius felt strangely hollow.

"I suppose I'll leave then." He said, whispered, almost. The boy nodded.

"Alright."

"Don't... Please don't forget to write if you hear anything."

"I promise. I won't." The boy nodded, and stuck out a hand. "I'm Mark by the way. Mark May. In case you fancy writing first." He grinned. Sirius took his hand, and managed to force a half hearted smile. Mark didn't shake his hand, he only squeezed it. Sirius was grateful again. His hand was strangely comforting.

Sirius flooed back to the common room and walked slowly back to his bed. He heard James snoring lightly in the bed next to him.  
The sound was strangely muffled, and the sheets didn't feel quite right.  
And his chest hurt.

Epilogue

He never got a letter from Mark, and he was simply too shy to write himself.

Sirius got used to the dull ache in his chest eventually. And he learned to find ways to distract him from it. Sex with strangers was always a good distraction, because there were those rare, occasional moments when he felt complete again. But they only lasted a moment. A second.  
And drink. Drink dulled everything.

War was a good distraction as well. This war that had been raging around them since they were all so young, only now seemed to be real. Only after Dumbledore had called Sirius, James, Lily, Peter and Frank and Alice to his office, one hot July evening after their NEWTs were done, and asked for their help. Dumbledore, Dumbledore and his organisation, were the only people so much as making a dent in the fight against Voldemort. As usual, the ministry was useless.  
So Sirius became a warrior.  
Sirius fucked, Sirius fought and, in the gaps between fucking and fighting, he drank.

He was best man when James and Lily got married, and the two of them were always telling him to drink less, to find a nice bloke to settle down with.  
Sirius didn't want to stop drinking. He certainly didn't want to settle down. Not with anyone. Anyone accept him.

Then Regulus died. And that only added to that ache in his chest. That was the night Sirius went from being a wine drinker, to a whisky drinker.

He was named Godfather when James and Lily had Harry, and Lily winced whenever he held the baby, as if she was terrified he might drop him. Sirius wasn't always drunk. And he certainly wouldn't pick up Harry after he'd had a drink any way.

But he wasn't their secret keeper. No. That would have been far too obvious. Peter was the logical choice.

Then James and Lily were dead. Harry was the Boy who Lived. And promptly given to Lily's horrid muggle sister.

And Sirius became a murderer. Before Peter had time to scuttle back to his master, before he had time to fuss, and stir and get Sirius in some deep deep shit; Sirius killed him.  
Sirius regretted that though. Death was the easy way out for a rat like Peter. He should have gone to Azkaban. Sirius should have made him rot.

Once the fighting was over, there wasn't much left to do apart from fucking and drinking. And that suited Sirius just fine.

He argued with Dumbledore, with the ministry as well, that he should have Harry. The ministry said yes, right away, anything for a war hero like Sirius Black. Dumbledore said no. No because Harry needed the blood tie to Petunia, to his mother, for protection. Sirius argued he was a distant cousin of James'. Dumbledore said no.  
So Sirius drank more and fucked harder.

A few years later, Sirius found out the muggles were keeping Harry in a dank little cupboard. Making him do housework. Treating him like a house elf. Dumbledore be damned.  
He became a father.  
It turned out a second cousin was indeed a strong enough blood tie to hold up the magic protecting Harry.

So he stopped drinking and fucking altogether (sort of). The Prophet was already on his arse about "Kidnapping the Boy Who Lived" so he decided he needed something to make life easier for himself. Win back public favour. Become so dull the Prophet would stop following his every move.

He started Healer training and Molly Weasley took care of Harry when he was busy.  
He bumped into Jennifer Plunkett in the Leaky Cauldron one afternoon, in March of '84. And they were married by April of '85.

Her mouth just the perfect shape. Her eyes still the right colour. And she never changed her hair. She asked Sirius once if he'd like her to grow it. He'd looked so stricken at the thought, she never asked again. For some reason, he never told her he was an animagus.  
Their sex life was barely there, but that was just fine with Sirius. Jennifer wasn't satisfied, and he pretended to be horribly embarrassed. So horribly embarrassed by it, Jennifer only very rarely brought it up.  
Sirius, between being a father, a husband and a healer, still found time for his all too necessary nights out. Drinking and fucking strangers was, sometimes the only thing that got him through his week. Jennifer and Harry thought he just pulled a longer shift at St. Mungo's.  
It broke her heart when she found out she couldn't have children. Sirius was relieved. He told her not to worry, they had Harry, and they could always adopt. That didn't make her feel any better.

All in all, life was good. Well, bearable, at least.  
He'd settled. He was almost happy. But he wasn't quite whole.  
His chest still ached.

(A/N: Please don't complain if you didn't like the ending D:  
It's not going to do anything but annoy the author :P)


End file.
